This is Alpha, the first-born, when he was 2YO.
This is Beta, the second-born, when he was about 2YO.
This is Gamma, the third-born, when he was about 18MO.
Inventions for Parents
Aug
13
2013
Now that our youngest no longer qualifies as a baby, I’ve thought of some things that would have been nice to have when he was an infant.
Inventions for Parents of Infants
- One-Way Pant Legs
I can’t even count the number of times that I would get one pant leg on the kicking baby, only to have him work that leg out of the pants while I was trying to get the other leg in. We would go back and forth a few times – this leg in that leg out, that leg in this leg out, etc. – before I could manage to get them both on at the same time.If the pants were lined with a directional material, similar to but not as sharp as snakes’ teeth, I would have no problem getting fussy babies dressed.
The only drawback would be changing them out of the pants. The material would have to be cheap enough to be disposable so that one could cut them off. Single-use, disposable pants. Probably would have to have the diaper built in or something.
- Non-Contact Thermometers
They have these for industrial use. For example, no one is going to stick any probes in a crucible of molten steel to make sure it is hot enough. But that’s overkill for parents. A squirmy baby does not like having thermometers held under his armpit (or anywhere else, for that matter), and those ear thermometers are touchy too.Why not adapt the current non-contact thermometers for use on a child? Kid looks or sounds sick? Zap him from across the room. You just need a clear line-of-sight to his forehead.
Take care when using the optional laser sight though – you don’t want to damage his eyes.
- Pacifier Strap
The baby cries because he doesn’t have his pacifier. His pacifier doesn’t stay in his mouth because he’s crying.Classic Catch-22.
Solve that dilemma with a strap of elastic attached to the pacifier.
Make it decorative elastic, and it can double as a baby girl’s headband.
- Double-Sided Squeegee Tissue
It doesn’t take a baby long to fear the tissue. You see his runny nose and reach for a tissue. He sees the tissue and prepares for his evasive maneuver. As you approach, he waits. Timing is critical. You apply the tissue then he acts – shaking his head from side to side to ensure that all the facial tissue does is smear the contents of his nose across his cheek, making more of a mess instead of less.It might be cost-prohibitive for an item as disposable as facial tissue, but we need a tissue with a squeegee on each end. That way, any mess is kept instead of smeared. And a squeegee needs to be on each side, because you never know which way your baby is going to go (“he always turns to the right in the bottom half of the hour”).
- Baby Monitor Snooze Button
With our first child, we learned by accident that he could sleep through the night. He was sleeping 3 or so hours at a stretch, which after a few weeks made for some weary parents (i.e. us). One early morning, around 2:00 or 3:00, he starting crying. I was too tired to get out of bed, so I assumed my wife would get him. She was too tired, so she hoped I would get him. Both of us fell back asleep and neither one got him.Then we both woke at 5:00 and panicked – “did you get him?” “No, I thought you did.” “Is he okay?” We rushed to his crib and found that he was sleeping peacefully. After that, we let him cry for 10 minutes or so before we would get him during the night. He rarely made it for all 10 minutes.
So what I recommend to new parents, after the first month, is to get a baby monitor with a snooze button. The baby starts crying, the monitor wakes you. The baby’s cry sounds normal, so you push the snooze button and the monitor goes silent for the next 10 minutes.
The baby learns to deal with it, the parents get some more sleep, and everyone is better off.
Then I sent a message to him saying, “Such things as you are saying have not been done, but you are inventing them in your own mind.”
Nehemiah 6:8
This little article thingy was written by Some Guy sometime around 6:25 am and has been carefully placed in the Ponder category.
August 13th, 2013 at 10:15 pm
The last one should have a way to set the time you snooze, so if you want longer than 10 minutes, you can could set it for 15 minutes, or 20 minutes, or 5 hours.
August 14th, 2013 at 8:57 am
It’s a work in progress.
There’s also the tandem baby monitor – one for your side of the bed and one for the other. They automatically take turns, so there’s no discussion needed.