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In a shameless spoof of MckMama’s Not Me Monday (via Four Now’s Not Me Monday), I am posting a Not Mine Monday. I am calling it Part 1 because I am planning on making this a regular somewhat occasional feature.

• My child did not come to the edge of his bed as I was about to finish changing the sheets and draw on the new clean sheets with a crayon. He would not do that, since he knows that crayons are for paper only.
• My child did not take the infant’s Boppy, put it around his own neck, and run around pretending to be wearing a life jacket in the water. He uses things only for their intended purposes.
• My child did not threaten to stay up until midnight because he was unhappy with our choice of bedtime for him. And I most certainly did not reply that he could stay up as late as he wanted as long as he was quiet and stayed in bed. That was not us – bedtime is always a smooth, orderly, and on-time process in our house.

But if our children did do those things, we would still love them.

Okay, I’ll throw a Not Me in here too: I did not use the infant’s burp cloth to wipe up the floor when his spit-up landed there. And I did not absent-mindedly wipe the infant’s face with that same part of the burp cloth that wiped the floor. Only sterile products go near the baby. If I had been holding the baby at that time, I would have thrown the burpey (burpee?) in the wash and gotten a new one. And cleaned the floor with a floor-cleaning thingy.

“and the priest shall take holy water in an earthenware vessel; and he shall take some of the dust that is on the floor of the tabernacle and put it into the water.”
– Numbers 5:17