Some Blog Site

… from their own mission statements.

Of course, no one is perfect. But, if a school district is going to put its mission statement on its website for the whole world to see, you would think they would make it a good one.

For your reading pleasure (and because Arby has me looking for typos now) (and because school is starting so I’ve been looking at official school information), I present to you eight different mission statements from various school districts in the area.

1. ___ Schools are committed to providing a quality educational experience for all students in a safe, orderly, healthy, and nurturing environment.

   Nothing too bad there. Although if I were nit-picking (which I am), I would note that the schools are not committed to providing a quality education. Rather, they are committed to providing a quality experience.

   Me: How was school today?
   Child: Great! I loved it!
   Me: What did you learn?
   Child: Nothing! But I had a great experience!

   Oy.

2. Realizing that each child is unique with varied experiences and opportunities, we will strive to promote an intrinsic desire to learn and gain the skills necessary to achieve academically. The ___ school community will nurture a sense of self-worth and self-discipline for all students to provide an excellent educational environment.

   A lot of fluff, although I suppose it could be worse. Plus, what else do you expect in a mission statement?

   If you look at what they are really saying you see that all the district wants to do is to cause your children to desire. I don’t see that the district wants to actually educate the kids.

   We don’t want your kids to learn – we want your kids to want to learn.

   No, wait… They don’t want to cause your children to desire; they just want to promote that desire.

   No, wait again… They don’t want to promote that desire; they just want to strive to promote that desire.

   Let’s see how far we can go here:

   • “we aim to strive to promote desire” …
   • “we work to aim to strive to promote desire” …
   • “we yearn to work to aim to strive to promote desire” …

   I think I’ll stop there. I’m sure the committee meant well when it produced that mission statement.

   One more thing: the child is going to “achieve academically.” I really dislike the intransitive use of “achieve”. Some verbs can be both transitive and intransitive, but there is usually a good implied object for the intransitive case. Why not “achieve academic success”? Just put a noun in there for an object – the sentence would be much better.

   Okay, the sentence would be a little bit better.

(more…)