Archive for October 18th, 2010

Sober Drinks

I was enjoying my lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings last week, when my pleasant experience was interrupted by bad English.

No, not the band. Bad English in this case was a poorly-written menu.

picture of part of the Buffalo Wild Wings lunch menu

Look at the phrase “alcoholic free lemonades”. Initially I was going to point out that your lemonade will not contain any drunk guys. And that’s still a valid point. I would prefer the term “alcohol-free lemonades” or “non-alcoholic lemonades”.

But “alcoholic free lemonade”? At least put a hyphen in there and make it “alcoholic-free lemonades”. As it is, it implies that if you are drunk, you get a free lemonade.

And it was at that point, when I was pondering the thought of free drinks for alcoholics, that I noticed there was a charge for the upgrade.

A-ha! The drink isn’t free – it costs you $0.75.

But wait – here’s your bonus section, it’s like two posts in one – it’s not really $0.75. It’s not even 75 cents. It is 0.75¢: 3/4 of a cent.

Noooooo! Menu writers of the world, please learn the difference between dollars and cents!!!

Otherwise, some wiseguy is going to come into your restaurant, give you a penny, and ask for a side salad. And legally, he’s right. You are offering (advertising) a side salad for .99¢

And you must fulfill the terms of your advertisements.

Look, I can substitute Buffalo Chips for half a penny.

I think boycotting BWW would be the wrong action here. I think the right action would be that everyone should go there and take advantage of their offers.

Bring a copy of the Federal Trade Commission Act which states that advertising must be truthful and non-deceptive, just in case they complain that they really meant whole cents not decimal cents.

Go to BWW and demand a side salad for 99/100 of a penny.

And ask for change.

But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

2 Timothy 4:5