Archive for 2015

Family Conversations, Part 25


The scene: Gamma is looking at a book cover.
Gamma : Is she a mutant?
Me : No she’s a girl. Twelve. No wait. Thirteen. She just had a birthday.
Gamma : What’s a mutant?
Me : Someone who has changed.
Gamma : So she’s a mutant?
Me : No she’s a girl.
Gamma : She’s a teenager.
Me : I suppose she is a mutant.

We’ll have some mutants in our house in a few years.


Me : Don’t throw things down the stairs!
Delta : That was Gamma.
Me : No it wasn’t – it was a marble.

Gotta teach these kids at an early age the value of humor.


Gamma, singing : Puff the magic dragon lived in Galilee.


Gamma : Do snapdragons like to bite bad guys?

I think too much Mario has him overestimating the abilities of flowers.


Other student : if I caught on fire I’d probably run around crazy.
Me : No, you’re supposed to stop drop and roll
Beta : Just don’t roll in a pile of dry leaves

Good point.


Delta : Is a lemon an animal?
Me : No, it’s a fruit
Delta : But chicken is an animal
Me : Yes
Delta : Do lemons have two legs?
Me : Nope, lemons do not have legs.


Delta, showing me his drawing : This is an underwater gas tank it’s burning up with fire. Because it’s the bad guy underwater gas tank.

Bad guys are a popular topic amongst the 3-6 year-old set.


Having said these things to them, He stayed in Galilee.

John 7:9

Eggs

It’s good to have friends.

We have friends who have a pool. We get to enjoy swimming, and we don’t have to worry about maintenance.

And we have friends who have chickens. We have a few friends who have chickens. We get to enjoy fresh eggs, and we don’t have to worry about feeding them or cleaning the coop. All we have to do is give them empty egg cartons, and we get them back full.

Here’s a photo of part of our fridge:

image of several cartons of eggs in our fridge

That’s right – 7.5 dozen eggs. It seems all our friends had extra eggs all at once. Or rather, their chickens did.

We’re down to about 2 or 3 dozen now.

Anything you have a surplus of? That you’d like to send our way?
Raspberries?
Salmon?
Homemade bread?

And my hand reached to the riches of the peoples like a nest, And as one gathers abandoned eggs, I gathered all the earth; And there was not one that flapped its wing or opened its beak or chirped.

Isaiah 10:14

Food Thoughts

  • Peaches from a grocery store are much better if they’re packaged in glass instead of metal cans. I never knew that canned peaches could taste like peaches are supposed to taste. The tin cans remove all flavor. But the glass jars are awesome.
  • Conversely, salsa is much better in plastic than in glass. But that’s because the salsa in plastic containers is fresh and will spoil quickly because it is not preserved, whereas the salsa in glass containers is meant to sit unspoiled for a long time. I have become used to fresh salsa and now I skip any glass jar salsa.
  • If chicken salad is made without grapes and runs on the plain side in terms of both flavor and texture, throw some bread and butter pickles in the mix. Big improvement.
  • If you’re eating at a Bob Evans restaurant, don’t let the little children get the Bunny Hop Cakes. Yes, they look fun, but that meal is essentially just frosting. We like the rest of Bob Evans’ offerings, but skip that one.
  • I used to like going to Logan’s Roadhouse because they had good peach tea. They changed their recipe in the last year or two, and now they have great peach tea. I don’t know what they did, and I don’t want to know. It could be 100% high-fructose corn syrup for all I care – it just tastes great.

What’s your vote? Who has the best peach tea?

For the ear tests words As the palate tastes food.

Job 34:3

The Five Senses

We understand there are 5 physical senses that the human body has. People have tried to introduce various things as a 6th sense, but that is still nebulous.

Having observed current culture, I see the need to document the 5 cultural or social senses.

  • Sense of entitlement
  • Sense of outrage
  • Sense of unoffendability
  • Sense of awareness
  • Sense of immediacy

But these 5 senses have come at a cost – they replaced other senses that had withered due to lack of use. Here are 5 senses that people used to have, and what they should have instead of the senses listed above:

  • Sense of responsibility
  • Sense of direction
  • Common sense
  • Sense of shame
  • Sense of purpose

A senseless man has no knowledge, Nor does a stupid man understand this

Psalm 92:6

Robins

It’s not unusual for one or more of our boys to grab some sticks or leaves to play with and then try to bring them in the house. So when my wife came home and saw this:

image of a mess outside a front door

she assumed one of the kids was playing with some nature and left it outside the front door.

Then she looked up.
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Microsoft -ync

A while back, Microsoft partnered with Ford to create their Sync platform.

Recently, the computer people at work added Microsoft Lync to all our computers.

I’m beginning to see a trend here. I think the Microsoft naming department might be staffed by the same people who have been creating spelling variations for baby girl names – just find an existing word and replace the letter “i” with the letter “y” and you’re good.

I thought I’d propose some new product names for Microsoft. I’m not sure there will be much of a market for each of these products, but that’s their problem.

  • Microsoft Blync – not sure what this does, but it involves closing both of your eyes quickly.
  • Microsoft Clync – their version of a jail.
  • Microsoft Drync – in case you’re thirsty.
  • Microsoft Jynx – if two people use this product at the same time, it locks up until you contact customer support.
  • Microsoft Mync – their version of faux fur.
  • Microsoft Pync – in case they invent a bright new color
  • Microsoft Rync – where their hockey team plays, of course.
  • Microsoft Stync – perfume?
  • Microsoft Thync – mind-control device. No, not for controlling your mind – for you to use your mind to control other things.
  • Microsoft Wync – the half-price version of Blync.
  • Microsoft Zync – their proprietary metal alloy.

Any other product name suggestions? Or better uses for or descriptions of these names?

Dead flies make a perfumer’s oil stink, so a little foolishness is weightier than wisdom and honor.

Ecclesiastes 10:1

A Rabbit Story

Here’s a story that Gamma wrote for kindergarten.

image of a kindergartener's story about rabbits, table of contents

There are 5 pages in the story All About Rabbits.

For each page, I’ll type out what he wrote then I’ll translate it.

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