Green Like Solanine
Jan
5
2010
On New Year’s Eve, my wife went grocery shopping and came home with steaks for dinner.
Steaks are always welcome, but they were raw at that point, so I asked how she was going to cook them.
“Either boiled or fried” was the response.
Boiled? Ugh. No thanks. I’m sure it would make the meat safe to eat, but that’s just not right. Save the boiling for hot dogs. Although . . . I usually just microwave those.
Fried? Maybe, but a steak deserves better than that.
“Alright,” I said, “I’ll grill them.” You know it’s bad when I volunteer to cook. But steak is a treat, and I was home because of the holiday, so why not?
“In this weather? It’s snowing out there!”
“It’s not so bad. Besides, the grill will keep me warm.”
Here is what grilling on New Year’s Eve in the Midwest looks like:
While I was grilling, my wife was making the potatoes. Rather, she was trying to make the potatoes. She had a bag of potatoes, and the bag claimed that all one needed to do was microwave the bag and the potatoes would be cooked.
However, after being microwaved and put into a bowl to be mashed, the potatoes looked like this:
My wife knew that potatoes are not supposed to be green. Thanks to the internet, she confirmed that green potatoes are very bad.
So she threw them out and considered calling the company to complain about their attempted poisoning bad potatoes.
The best part about the meal was when the kids sat down to dinner and Alpha exclaimed “Steak! I love steak!” Get ’em started young.
The second-best part was that there was a steak or two left over. A breakfast later during the holiday consisted of steak and eggs.
So they poured it out for the men to eat. And as they were eating of the stew, they cried out and said, “O man of God, there is death in the pot.” And they were unable to eat.
2 Kings 4:40
This little article thingy was written by Some Guy sometime around 12:47 am and has been carefully placed in the Food category.
January 12th, 2010 at 7:35 pm
I said, “broiled”, I did not say, “boiled”.
January 12th, 2010 at 10:51 pm
That sounds much better. Although still not as good as “grilled”.
February 7th, 2014 at 3:21 pm
This is as pretty a green potato picture as i’ve seen.