All-Haiku Bowl Predictions, 2014

Based on the popularity existence of last year’s article predicting bowl games in haiku form, I present to you this year’s all-haiku bowl game predictions. Still America’s only all-haiku college football bowl game predictions.

These are listed in order of date (earliest first). Some picks are whom I think will win, and some picks are whom I want to win. I’ll leave it to you, the reader, to decide which is which.

Dec. 20th

New Orleans Bowl
ULL has a
better record, but I think
Nevada will win.
Nevada over ULL

New Mexico Bowl
This game got usurped
by the New Orleans Bowl
Not first anymore.
Utah State over UTEP

Las Vegas Bowl
How will CSU
do now that their coach is gone?
I think they’ll be alright.
Colorado State over Utah

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl
The northernmost bowl.
And Western Michigan is
the northernmore team
Air Force over Western Michigan

Camellia Bowl
I’m not going to fall
into their trap of looking
up “Camellia”
South Alabama over Bowling Green

Dec. 22nd

Miami Beach Bowl
Finally, a new
bowl game with a simple name –
just a location.
Memphis over BYU

Dec. 23rd

Boca Raton Bowl
On the other hand,
maybe a bowl game name should
be interesting.
Marshall over N. Illinois

Poinsettia Bowl
Both teams are home teams,
since San Diego is known
for its Navy base.
San Diego State over Navy

Dec. 24th

Bahamas Bowl
It’s nice they provide
a tropical bowl for teams
on the eastern side.
Western Kentucky over Central Michigan

Hawaii Bowl
These teams probably
won’t be home for Christmas, but
Hawaii’s nice too.
Rice over Fresno State

Dec. 26th

Heart of Dallas Bowl
This bowl is one of
the reasons why people say
there are too many.
Louisiana Tech over Illinois

Quick Lane Bowl
Yet another of
the reasons why people say
there are too many.
Rutgers over North Carolina

St. Petersburg Bowl
I always mix up
UCF and UFC.
I hope these teams don’t.
NC State over UCF

Dec. 27th

Military Bowl
Just like the other
military bowl, this one
has no armed forces.
Virginia Tech over Cincinnati

Sun Bowl
Although they are Duke
do take them seriously
or you risk losing
Arizona State over Duke

Independence Bowl
Independence Bowl
should not have any sponsors.
That is dependence.
Miami over South Carolina

Pinstripe Bowl
Penn State is barely
bowl-eligible, but now
at least they’re allowed
Boston College over Penn State

Holiday Bowl
This is the second
bowl at Qualcomm Stadium.
Want any more games?
USC over Nebraska

Dec. 29th

Liberty Bowl
WVU
and the Aggies should swap which
conferences they’re in.
West Virginia over Texas A&M

Russell Athletic Bowl
A much better name
than the Unathletic Bowl.
And who is Russell?
Oklahoma over Clemson

Texas Bowl
Why don’t other teams
get to play in a bowl game
that’s named after them?
Arkansas over Texas

Dec. 30th

Music City Bowl
LSU’s record
against Notre Dame will soon
become 3-0
LSU over Notre Dame

Belk Bowl
Comparing how each
team played against Kentucky,
I’ll go with Georgia.
Georgia over Louisville

Foster Farms Bowl
It’s like a junior
version of the Rose Bowl game.
Pac-12 and Big 10.
Stanford over Maryland

Dec. 31st

Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl
Peach is new. About time we got more fruit involved
TCU over Ole Miss

Fiesta Bowl
This game sponsored by
Tostito’s – no, not really
Don’t you miss those ads?
Boise State over Arizona

Orange Bowl
Capital One has
taken over the Orange Bowl.
Goodbye, Discover.
Mississippi State over Georgia Tech

Jan. 1st

Outback Bowl
The Outback Bowl should
be played in Australia,
not in Florida
Auburn over Wisconsin

Cotton Bowl
Will Baylor be mad
or disheartened because they
missed the final four?
Baylor over Michigan State

Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl
Gophers don’t have much
of a chance against tigers.
Not even golden.
Missouri over Minnesota

Rose Bowl
At least the PAC-12 got to the Rose Bowl
Oregon over Florida State

Sugar Bowl
Alabama is
wishing it got FSU.
So is OSU.
Alabama over Ohio State

Jan. 2nd

Armed Forces Bowl
Just like the other
military bowl, this one
has no armed forces.
Pittsburgh over Houston

Taxslayer Bowl
Only important
bowl games should be played after
January 1st.
Iowa over Tennessee

Alamo Bowl
This bowl game cannot
make up its mind: pick before
or after New Year’s.
Kansas State over UCLA

TicketCity Cactus Bowl
The Fiesta Bowl
hosts this game too, but at a
different stadium.
Washington over Oklahoma State

Jan. 3rd

Birmingham Bowl
Gators will rally
under new coach McElwain
enough for a win
Florida over East Carolina

Jan. 4th

GoDaddy.com
They may have changed their
commercials philosophy.
I still dislike them.
Toledo over Arkansas State

Jan. 12th

Cleverly-named National Championship Game Bowl
It is possible
that the Heisman trophy is
not a curse to them.
Oregon over Alabama


And that’s it for this year’s BCS and non-BCS bowl game predictions. Tune in later, about the second week of January, for the results show.

And as he talked with them, behold, there came up the champion, the Philistine of Gath, Goliath by name, out of the armies of the Philistines, and spake according to the same words: and David heard them.

1 Samuel 17:23

Digg Del.icio.us Reddit Stumble Upon

This little article thingy was written by Some Guy sometime around 6:01 am and has been carefully placed in the Sports category.

Leave a Reply

Comment moderation: please do not submit your comment multiple times, as comments are not posted until I approve them. If your comment never appears, that probably means that I didn't like your comment (maybe off topic, maybe spam, maybe not family-friendly, etc.).