Some Blog Site

We were curious, could a bank find more ways to annoy people?

At [unnamed bank], we thought we could certainly try. So when customers came in to pay their mortgages, we asked them. “Would you like to sign up for more of our products and services?”

And when they declined, we were curious – why were they not signing up?

We called them to see if maybe they didn’t understand what they were missing. And then we were even more curious – doesn’t anyone answer the phone anymore?

After leaving a few voicemails, we were curious – where have the customers gone?

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That was my attempt at parodying [unnamed bank]’s recent marketing plan. But it was inspired by actual events – just paying my mortgage.

You see, I have my mortgage through them but I don’t have anything else – no checking or savings account with them. They have a branch a mile or so from my workplace, so, to save a stamp, I would stop by on my commute home and pay the monthly mortgage bill in person.

The teller offered me a sum of money if I would open a checking account with them. Since I was planning on getting a new mortgage in the near future, I declined. No sense changing over checks, direct deposit info, etc. for a few months only to have the new mortgage with someone else.

But the next time, she gave me a pamphlet and business card for the banker lady who could setup the account. Rather than argue, I said “Sure, I’ll look at it” and went on with my life.

A week later, my phone rang. It was not a number I recognized, so I let it go to voicemail. It was the banker lady, who left her phone number and asked me to call her back. “No way,” I thought to myself. “I’m not voluntarily subjecting myself to a sales pitch.”

Two days later, the phone rang again. This time, I recognized her number, so I let it go to voicemail. Her message said she had to discuss my mortgage with me. Nice try, but that’s a bit of a stretch.

A week later, I got my normal mortgage statement in the mail.

I wrote a check and put a stamp on the return envelope. I am not going back to that branch ever again.

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