All-Haiku Bowl Predictions, 2023
Dec
16
2023
Based on the popularity existence of last year’s article predicting bowl games in haiku form, I present to you this year’s all-haiku bowl game predictions. Still America’s only all-haiku college football bowl game predictions.
These are listed in order of date (earliest first). Some picks are whom I think will win, and some picks are whom I want to win. I’ll leave it to you, the reader, to decide which is which.
Dec. 16th
Normally, mascot
comparisons are silly:
Bobcat or Eagle?
Ohio over Georgia So.
New Orleans Bowl
I missed it already
but Jacksonville State has played
South Carolina
Jacksonville St. over Louisiana
Cure Bowl
Miami’s playing
well enough without Gabbert;
a good team effort
Miami OH over App. St.
New Mexico Bowl
If the bowl name and
the team name have the same state,
it’s a tourist trap.
Fresno St. over New Mexico St.
LA Bowl
It’s not a state, but
sharing a city name is
also suspicious
UCLA over BSU
Independence Bowl
Both are 6 and 6.
If this game ends in a tie,
that would be perfect.
Texas Tech over Cal
Dec. 18th
Looks like Bahama
is taking a break this year.
Tropical Charlotte.
OD over WKU
Dec. 19th
I always forget
this game is in Texas, not
in San Francisco.
UTSA over Marshall
Dec. 21st
This mascot battle
is a human against a
kind of animal
Syracuse over USF
Dec. 22nd
Both are 6 and 6.
If this game ends in a tie,
that would be perfect.
GT over UCF
Dec 23rd
I’m not going to fall
into their trap of looking
up “Camellia”
NIU over Arkansas St.
Birmingham Bowl
They both lost their coach
so I’m picking the team that
promoted within
Troy over Duke
Armed Forces Bowl
Since there is only
one branch here, shouldn’t it be
the armed force bowl game?
Air Force over JMU
Idaho Potato Bowl
Both of these teams lost
when they played James Madison;
G. State lost by more
Utah St. over Georgia St.
68 Ventures
I’m not going to fall
for their trap of looking up
“68 Ventures”
S. Alabama over EMU
Las Vegas Bowl
This mascot battle
is a human against a
kind of animal
Utah over Northwestern
Hawaii Bowl
Hawaii is fun,
but both teams are near the shore
so they’ll feel at home.
Coastal Carolina over SJSU
Dec. 26th
Now they’re letting just
about everyone into
a bowl game this year.
BG over Minnesota
First Responder
They are playing in
the Gerald Ford Stadium
but it’s J. not R.
Texas St. over Rice
Guaranteed Rate Bowl
If I were a team,
I would want to be in the
Guaranteed Win Bowl
Kansas over UNLV
Dec. 27th
Unlike the other
military bowl, this one
has no armed forces
VT over Tulane
Mayo Bowl
It’s disconcerting
to picture a mayo bowl –
bowl full of mayo.
UNC over WVU
Holiday Bowl
This mascot battle
is a human against a
kind of animal
USC over Louisville
Texas Bowl
If the bowl name and
the team name have the same state,
it’s a tourist trap.
OK. St. over Texas AM
Dec. 28th
BC is just there
to get people in the stands.
SMU by 10
SMU over BC
Pinstripe Bowl
I will say that the
Pinstripe Bowl lasted longer
than I thought it would.
Miami FL over Rutgers
Pop-Tarts Bowl
How many years can
the title sponsorship last?
Over/under: 3
NC St. over KSU
Alamo Bowl
Hey Oklahoma,
do you want a victory?
Then come and take it.
Oklahoma over Arizona
Dec. 29th
I’m picking this one
based solely on the strength of
one Dabo Swinney.
Clemson over Kentucky
Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl
Nobody should trust
Notre Dame after blowing
that 4th-quarter lead
Oregon St. over ND
Liberty Bowl
It’s too bad that the
Liberty Flames couldn’t go to
the Liberty Bowl
Iowa St. over Memphis
Cotton Bowl
It’s the bowl game for
some second-place finishers
in their divisions.
Missouri over Ohio St.
Dec. 30th
This mascot battle
is a human against a
kind of animal
Penn St. over Mississippi
Music City Bowl
Each of these teams had
a disappointing season
compared to the hype.
Maryland over Auburn
Orange Bowl
This one should be called
The Chip on the Shoulder Bowl.
Should be a good one
Georgia over FSU
Arizona Bowl
Toledo did not
show up to play their last game.
They will show up here.
Toledo over Wyoming
Jan. 1st
It’s not a good sign
if your quarterback has won
the Heisman trophy
LSU over Wisconsin
Citrus Bowl
This mascot battle
is a human against a
kind of animal
Iowa over Tennessee
Fiesta Bowl
It’s too bad that the
Liberty Flames couldn’t go to
the Liberty Bowl
Oregon over Liberty
Rose Bowl
Rose Bowl is getting
ready to associate
with the not-PAC-12
Michigan over Alabama
Sugar Bowl
It’s almost-Big Ten
versus almost-SEC
Goodbye old PAC-12
Washington over Texas
National Championship Game
This pick will not be
worth much if I got both the
semifinals wrong.
Michigan over Washington
And that’s it for this year’s BCS and non-BCS bowl game predictions. Tune in later, about the second week of January, for the results show.
also two olive trees by it, one on the right side of the bowl and the other on its left side.
Zechariah 4:3
This little article thingy was written by Some Guy sometime around 12:36 am and has been carefully placed in the Uncategorized category.