This is Alpha, the first-born, when he was 2YO.
This is Beta, the second-born, when he was about 2YO.
This is Gamma, the third-born, when he was about 18MO.
Mar
6
2012
It seems my son has inherited my tendency to take questions literally and answer them as asked (not necessary as intended).
Alpha: What can I do to help with dinner?
Wife: Do you want to set the plates?
Alpha: No, not really.
Alpha starts to run upstairs
Wife: Now why did you ask if you weren’t going to do it?
Alpha: Daddy told me to ask.
You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.
James 4:3
Feb
28
2012
I was lying on the floor, playing with baby Delta, when Beta started paying close attention to my appearance for some reason. Here are his questions:
And they were all right in a row.
I tried to answer him as best I could, but it was hard to come up with some answers.
Solomon answered all her questions; nothing was hidden from the king which he did not explain to her.
1 Kings 10:3
Feb
14
2012
This episode involves Gamma. Enjoy!
I: Don’t tickle his eyes!
I think I was worried that someone’s cornea would be scratched. Sometimes the kids don’t know how to be gentle.
Gamma: When my head gets bigger it will look like your head
I: Yes, when you grow up, that should be the case.
Fans of Space Ghost Cartoon Planet should be thinking of a certain skit right now…
Gamma: Mommy, I put my finger in the plug and it didn’t hurt.
Thanks a lot, whichever children’s book had the lesson about not touching outlets. Now my child will doubt any other warnings we may give him. I can guess his future:
“Look, I’m reading in the dark and my eyes don’t hurt!”
“Hey, I ran with scissors and nothing happened!”
“I played ball in the street and no cars hit me.”
It’s all about risk, son, and probabilities.
Scene: the dinner table, with everyone eating nicely
Gamma: I making water!
I look over and see that he has a fistful of ground beef and he is squeezing it so that the grease drips on the table. Exclamations and a hasty clean-up commence.
You have crowned the year with Your bounty, And Your paths drip with fatness.
Psalm 65:11
Dec
13
2011
Children can be creative. It is my job as a parent to teach them to behave properly without squashing their spirit. It is a fine line between those two ideas sometimes.
Here are some Things Said Recently Around Here:
A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22
Nov
21
2011
Alpha: Look! It’s my mini-blinder!
Me: What’s a mini-blinder?
(Alpha shines a bright LED flashlight into my eyes.)
Me: Ow!
The Scene: One of the children came crying to me. I must say something to the other child.
Me: Don’t hit your brother with an axe!
Me, imagining loopholes: In fact, don’t hit your brother with anything.
It was a toy axe, but I still decided it was best to confiscate it.
Beta, taking a bath: Can I sleep in the bathtub?
Me: No.
Beta, leaning back so the water covers his ears: WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU.
But they refused to pay attention and turned a stubborn shoulder and stopped their ears from hearing.
Zechariah 7:11
Oct
11
2011
Children can be creative. It is my job as a parent to teach them to behave properly without squashing their spirit. It is a fine line between those two ideas sometimes.
Here are some Things I Have Said Recently:
so that you will behave properly toward outsiders and not be in any need.
1 Thessalonians 4:12
Sep
22
2011
It’s always interesting raising Gamma. See for yourself:
Gamma: Open your mouth.
Me: Okay…
Gamma, looking: There’s a spider web in there!
Me: Do I want to know why there’s popcorn on the bathroom floor?
Wife: I don’t know. And pretzels too.
Gamma: No go home! No go home!
Me: Gamma, we are home.
Pause…
Gamma: No go bye-bye!
They hatch adders’ eggs and weave the spider’s web; He who eats of their eggs dies, And from that which is crushed a snake breaks forth.
Isaiah 59:5
About Me: 
Crocker Chronicle
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