Archive for the ‘Conversations’ Category

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Storm Surge

Aug

24

2010

We had a thunderstorm with a lot of lightning, just after the kids’ bedtime. My wife and I noticed one particular flash of lightning that originated near the ground (not close though) and was greenish. And then the power went out.

My comment was that it looked like a transformer blew up. When the transformers around here blow, they are hurt-your-eyes bright, the light from the blast is green, and there is a very loud buzzing noise during the blast.

After the storm calmed down (and the power came back), I put Alpha back to bed. He was asking about what if the power went out, what if this, what if that, etc.

Then he asked, “What happens if another transformer comes?”

Transformer comes? That’s an odd way to phrase it – the transformer goes out when it blows up.

Then I caught on.

“No, not that type of Transformer. Just an electrical transformer. It’s part of the electrical system. I’ll point one out to you next time we drive by the substation.”

I didn’t exactly confirm my suspicion, but I got the inkling that he thought a Decepticon got in a good hit and blew up the Transformer and that Transformers blow up with a greenish blast.

As I looked, behold, a storm wind was coming from the north, a great cloud with fire flashing forth continually and a bright light around it, and in its midst something like glowing metal in the midst of the fire.

Ezekiel 1:4

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Family Conversations, Part 12

Aug

12

2010

Secrets

My wife was sitting at the computer. She saw me walk in and asked “Do you want me to check your email for you?”

It was a helpful gesture, but she had never asked that before so I had a somewhat surprised look on my face.

Before I could give an answer, she responded to my puzzlement with “What? you didn’t want me to do that? Why not? What are you hiding from me?” which was meant in a humorous, not suspicious, manner.

We both heard Alpha pipe up from the other room: “chocolate!”
which is funny because I don’t recall ever having hidden any chocolate from my wife, let alone telling Alpha about it.

Cheese

After dinner, Alpha came running into the living room – “Dadda, Gamma made a mess!”

Sure enough, Gamma, who was secured in his high chair because he was still finishing his meal, had dumped Parmesan cheese on his tray and on the floor.

Quite a mess.

But wait, the Parmesan cheese wasn’t anywhere near Gamma when I left the table. And he can’t open the top either.

Me: “Alpha, how did he get the cheese?”

“I gave it to him.”
“And did you open the top for him too?”
“Yes”
“Then go get the broom and dustpan and sweep it up.”

The kids sure are good at trying to get the other one in trouble.

He said to him, “Far from it, you shall not die. Behold, my father does nothing either great or small without disclosing it to me. So why should my father hide this thing from me? It is not so!”

1 Samuel 20:2

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Family Conversations, Part 11

Jul

13

2010

Here are some things said in conversation with Beta recently:

Compound Words

Beta: Toothbrushes make good scratchbackers!

It is fun when kids transpose the parts of compound words. The other one that I have heard is “rollersteam“.

And if you’ll excuse me for a moment, I have to go hide my toothbrush.

Half a Conversation

And now we’ve come to the part of the show where I write only one side of the conversation and you must imagine the other side of the conversation as well as the circumstances:

Me: He’s done. Let him go, please.
Me: No, we are NOT going to play baby tug-of-war. Just let go!

Beta likes to hug Gamma more than Gamma likes to be hugged. I sensed that Gamma was getting frustrated and I tried to rescue him. I forget exactly what Beta said, but he did use the phrase “baby tug-of-war“.

TV Shows

Beta: “Why did God make kids’ shows only during the day and not at night?”

Don’t you just love Beta’s child-like faith? God is in control of everything.

My wife answered that people chose the shows’ times – a little appetizer for the youngster on the free-will/sovereignty discussion perhaps. How much freedom does God give man? Does man really get to choose things in this life? Maybe these people just think that they picked the show times. What about unbelievers who disobey God – does that mean they are thwarting God’s plans? Such heavy topics for a 4-year-old…

My answer would have been “Because God knows that kids should be in bed at night and should not be watching TV.” But that’s with the luxury of hindsight – I don’t know that I would have come up with that one on the spot.

The king said, “Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one and half to the other.”

1 Kings 3:25

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Family Conversations, Part 10

May

13

2010

At dinner one night:

Beta: Do you have work tomorrow?
Me: Yes
Do you have work tomorrow tomorrow?
Huh? Oh, umm…tomorrow would be Thursday so tomorrow tomorrow would be Friday, so yes, I have work
Do you have work tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow?
That would be Saturday, so no, I do not have work.

And at dinner another night, when we were having salmon:

Beta: Is salmon killed fish?
Wife: I hope it’s not alive

This was at a park:

Beta: Look, a dead chewy!

We looked, and sure enough, there was a gummy bear lying face down on the path. I wouldn’t have thought much about it normally, but since Beta implied that it once had life, I suddenly felt sorry for it.

Someone in the household may have left her razor in the bathtub, and the boys may have found it during their bath. This is the exchange that occurred when I checked on them. Note that the Snug Tub now has an aftermarket hole in it, and the boys have been instructed not to touch razors anymore.

Alpha: Why does momma have a razor? She doesn’t have a beard…
Me: No, she doesn’t
Beta: Did she used to have a beard?
No, women don’t grow beards.
(calling to wife) The boys would like to talk to you…

Thus you shall do to them, for their cleansing: sprinkle purifying water on them, and let them use a razor over their whole body and wash their clothes, and they will be clean.

Numbers 8:7

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Family Conversations, Part 9

Mar

19

2010

This exchange happened a couple weeks ago, when icicles were hanging off our front porch and I was outside with the kids.

Some Guy (handing icicles to the children): Here, you can eat these icicles. These are good because they are clear. Don’t eat any dirty-looking icicles.
Alpha: Like the ones on the van?
Right.
Yeah, cause they’re salty.
What?!
I licked one!

Well, you gotta learn somehow.

Now on to last week:
We had finished dinner, and Alpha decided he wanted Fun Dip for his dessert. After mulling over the package, he announced that he was going to have the “Cherry Yum-Diddly” flavor. Then he read some more of the package.

Alpha: “Artificially flavored” What does that mean?
Some Guy: It is a fake flavor. That means it tastes like cherries even though it doesn’t have any cherries in it.
Do you know what, Dad?
What, Alpha?
That means that it doesn’t have any real Yum-Diddlies in it either.

I would have to agree.

I still haven’t figured out what a Yum-Diddly tastes like, real or artificial.

Finally, a clip from earlier this week, where we deal with the ever-present problem of children who are ready to be done with the shopping trip and have nothing constructive to do while waiting in the check-out line :

Alpha (grabbing an item off the display rack beside him) : Can we get this?
Some Guy: No, put that back please.
What is it?
That’s a lighter and it is used to start fires.
Hey look! Mini-lighters.
Put those back too please.
(reading the packaging before putting it back): Aww…it says to keep away from us.

The packages do usually say “Keep away from children” don’t they?

Does not the ear test words,As the palate tastes its food?

Job 12:11

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Family Conversations, Part 8

Mar

4

2010

For your entertainment today, here are a couple of scenes from our life.

Scene 1

The whole family is in the minivan, just starting a trip into town.

Wife: “Hey, do you think Gamma is over 20 lbs.?”
Some Guy: “Probably. We can weigh him when we get back home.”
“Because if he is, we can turn him around so he faces the front.”
loudly so that Alpha, who sits in the very back, can hear: “Then he would be able to see Momma but not Alpha anymore.”
“What do you think, Alpha? We can turn Gamma around…”
Alpha: “Does that mean his skull is closed?”
(husband and wife exchange confused stares for a second before laughing)
in an affirming voice: “Yes, I think so.”

We had not been discussing fontanels with him recently. We didn’t know he even knew about the soft spot on a baby’s head and that the skull needs to grow together. My first thought when he said that was that he wasn’t answering us and was talking to his brother about something they made with Legos (yes, there are skeletons from some of their sets). But then we realized he was concerned about Gamma’s growth and development, and it became quite funny.

Scene 2

The whole family is in the minivan, halfway to home from a trip into town.

Beta, out of the blue: “Momma, why do you wear glasses?”
Wife: “So I can see. Without glasses, everything looks blurry. Sometimes I wear contacts instead of glasses, but they do the same thing.”
Some Guy: “You should let him wear your glasses so he can see how things can look blurry.”
(worrying that the eyeglasses might be a little worse for the wear after the kids had them) “Even better, how about I let them wear my old glasses?”
“You have glasses?”
“I used to wear glasses. Then I got my eyes fixed. They zapped them with a laser and now I can see clearly.”
“Did your eyes smoke?”
(laughing, while recalling the smell of burning flesh during LASIK): “Yes, they did, a little bit”
(now worrying that the kids might think that eyeballs and lasers normally play well together) “The eye doctor used the laser very carefully. You should never look at a laser or let anyone shine a laser at your eyes, because most lasers will hurt your eyes and then you might not be able to see anymore.”

I think I got the point across, although it may have taken the fun out of the conversation.

The things you never considered before being a parent…

When discussing LASIK with people, you would assume they have enough common sense to know not to try laser eye surgery on their own. But how do people get that common sense in the first place? That’s part of the parents’ job – teaching children lessons as they go through life.

And yes, I still have my old glasses. They fit in the very broad category of Things With Sentimental Value that I like to save. And it’s fun to show people how bad my eyes were before LASIK.

But since I could not see because of the brightness of that light, I was led by the hand by those who were with me and came into Damascus.

Acts 22:11

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Family Conversations, Part 7

Feb

6

2010

A few random conversations this time, starring Beta. And with a special guest appearance by cousin O.

  • My son held out the empty cardboard toilet-paper tube so that I could throw it away. Unfortunately, we fumbled the hand-off and the tube tumbled into the toilet bowl. Also unfortunately, this was as he was finishing the reason he was in the bathroom in the first place.

    I announced my dissatisfaction with the circumstances with an exclamation of “Aaagh!” My wife heard the noise and asked what was going on. I replied that I had to fish the cardboard tube out of the potty; we certainly couldn’t just flush it. To which Beta responded, in a mix of bewilderment and amusement, “You’re going fishing in the potty?“

  • Beta (meaning that he can see well in the dark): I have good eyes at night
    O: I have good eyes at night too, because I’m a princess

    She matched his bet and then played the royalty card. It’s hard to argue with royalty, unless you know that she’s only a princess because she has a princessy dress.

  • We took a trip to the local nursing home so the kids’ Sunday School classes could sing to the residents. Beta did not enjoy the trip, and he told me so when we got back into the minivan.
    Nursing homes are not fun.
    Why not?
    They don’t have Legos or TV. That’s what we like.

Simon Peter said to them, “I am going fishing.” They said to him, “We will also come with you.” They went out and got into the boat; and that night they caught nothing.

John 21:3

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