This is Alpha, the first-born, when he was 2YO.
This is Beta, the second-born, when he was about 2YO.
This is Gamma, the third-born, when he was about 18MO.
Jan
13
2015
For a variety of reasons, I moved the Australian accent generator to its own site.
At the site Accenterator, you can generate not only an Aussie accent, but also Irish (needs work) and Mock Swedish (no one can tell if it’s wrong anyway).
Go visit the Accenterator and try some phrases.
After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.”
Matthew 26:73
Oct
9
2014
There has been a word search puzzle generator over at Some Fun Site for a while, but not everyone wants to generate his own puzzles.
So we added some pre-made puzzles. Starting off with some basic geography and Bible stuff – 50 states, capitals, nations of each continent, books of the Bible, sons of Jacob, etc.
Any other topics for some good word search puzzles?
Any other types of puzzles that need a generator site?
Then King Darius issued a decree, and search was made in the archives, where the treasures were stored in Babylon.
Ezra 6:1
Jul
1
2014
When I visited Cedar Point in early June of 2014, I saw the Slingshot was under construction. When I saw the description, I figured since it is a reverse bungee jump, it would be made of bungee cords.
Nope.
Now I have seen it in action, and it does not use bungee cords. It uses steel cables and springs. Actually, I don’t know that they are steel, just that they are non-elastic.
In case you are curious as to the Slingshot, here’s a summary: one moment you are at ground level, and 3 seconds later you are 300 feet in the air. This GIF might help explain:
(more…)
May
8
2014
Kids – do you want a fun, safe place for your parents to play and learn more about God?
Are you concerned about what your parents will do during their vacation days this summer?
Well, your prayers have been answered! We are proud – no, humbled – to introduce to you our church’s Adult VBS Program.
For one week this summer, you can drop your adults off in the morning for hours of songs, snacks, games, and lessons. You will need to pick up your adults by noon (lunch not provided).
No, our church doesn’t really run a vacation Bible school for parents. Sorry to disappoint you. But don’t be too discouraged, because there are places that do. They just don’t call it that.
Every summer, our family spends a week at a place that bills itself as a Bible conference center. That’s a boring title. I decided they should market themselves as “VBS for Adults”. Maybe there should be exclamation points involved somehow. Adults don’t have attention spans like they used to, so extra punctuation helps keep them focused.
The conference center has kids programs – it’s like a cross between summer camp and VBS. And the same applies to adults too. They have tennis courts and shuffleboard and a pool and a beach on a lake. There are contests and activities and crafts for all ages. And services with singing and an offering and a Bible lesson.
My main disappointment is that the adults do not have an offering contest. They need to split up, like boys versus girls. Take the offering in pennies and weigh it and see who wins. But nooooo, they just do dull stuff like checks and receipts for tax deductions.
Another thing I’m going to suggest is that they have off-brand, watered-down coffee for snack time. Each adult gets a small paper cup filled only halfway with coffee. I suggest that only because I don’t drink coffee. Other people might not be as amused by that as I would be.
And golf. I don’t know what the equivalent would be in a child’s VBS program, but they have to involve golf if they want to attract adults these days.
Of course, it wouldn’t be VBS without a theme. Right now it looks like the two most popular are the 401k theme (“God has a wonderful retirement plan for your life”) and the crime drama theme (picture of the empty tomb with the phrase “Crucifixion Scene Investigation” stamped on it).
What other ideas do you have for VBS for adults?
This was a guest post I wrote, intending it for SCL. I think I never actually submitted it, so you got to read it here instead.
The things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.
2 Timothy 2:2
Feb
11
2014
I like to have unusual names for various animals. See if you can match our name for the animal with the animal.
1. Ellayembee
A.
2. Beeyugee
B.
3. Deeogee
C.
4. Deeovee’ee
D.
5. Arratee
E.
6. Geeoaytee
F.
7. Seeaytee
G.
Answers below.
Answers
1 D
2 F
3 A
4 E
5 G
6 C
7 B
Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name.
Genesis 2:19
Dec
10
2013
This is a guest post that I submitted to Jon Acuff over a year ago. Since he has not posted it yet, I’m assuming he is not going to use it. Before you read this though, you should read the SCL post regarding the Elf on the Shelf. Once you have done that, please enjoy this post. Alternate titles are
Leg Dropping Elves: Episode 5
Elf on the Shelf, Part II
Leg Dropping Elves Reloaded
Elf on the Shelf: The Squeakquel
2 Fast 2 Elf-ious
Wise Man 1: Well, well, well… look who’s back.
Wise Man 2: It’s the doll that has nothing to do with the Christmas story! What are you doing here?
Elf on the Shelf: My name is Elf on the Shelf. You killed my Christmas. Prepare to…
Wise Man 1: That old bit? Don’t you have anything better? Something original?
Elf on the Shelf: How about “an eye for an eye and a beat-down for a beat-down”?
Wise Man 1: Oh yeah? You and what army?
Elf on the Shelf: Guys…
Gnome in your Home and Troll in a Bowl: Ta-daaa!
Wise Man 3: Is that all you got? I was almost worried for a minute there.
Elf on the Shelf: You should be worried, because I am going to get angry very soon…
Wise Man 3: Bah!
Elf on the Shelf: …and you don’t want to raise my ire.
Gnome in your Home: His ire is very Biblical.
Wise Man 1: How is that Biblical? We’re the Scripture experts here, not you.
Troll in a Bowl: Surely you’ve heard of elf-ire.
Gnome in your Home: And brimstone! We brought some brimstone in case things got ugly today.
Wise Man 2: Since you’re here, things are looking ugly indeed.
Gnome in your Home: And what do you mean by that?
Wise Man 2: I just call ’em as I see ’em.
Gnome in your Home: That does it – no more Mr. Nice Gnome!
Wise Man 1: Don’t worry about the gnome – he looks tough but he can’t take a hit very well.
Wise Man 2: You mean he has a glass jaw?
Wise Man 3: It looks like ceramic to me…
Wise Man 2: But what’s the troll made of?
Wise Man 3: Whatever it is, it stinks.
Wise Man 2: Maybe he’s made of brimstone.
Troll in a Bowl: I can see why the Elf came back. You guys need to be taken down a notch.
Gnome in your Home: Ooh! Ooh! Are we starting?
Elf on the Shelf: Wise men, you’re about to get served.
Wise Man 1: Good, cause I’m hungry.
Elf on the Shelf: We’ll start with the appetizer – a bowl of leg-drop soup!
Troll in a Bowl: Geronimoooo!
Wise Men: Oof!
Elf on the Shelf: Next comes a dish of smack-aroni and cheese.
Gnome in your Home: Thwack!
Wise Men: Ow!
Elf on the Shelf: And for dessert, have a heaping helping of …
Shepherds: Hey! Why weren’t we invited to the party?
Wise Men: Tag…
(Melee ensues.)
(Christmas decorations of all sorts are left in shambles.)
(The family wonders what happened when they find the destruction. They end up blaming squirrels for the mess.)
Where will it end? Will they ever learn to get along? What should the dessert be?
And having been warned by God in a dream not to return to Herod, the magi left for their own country by another way.
Matthew 2:12
Oct
17
2013
Today’s post was supposed to be a picture that I cobbled together, putting candy corn on a corn cob and calling it candy corn on the cob.
I wasn’t going to make a physical object, I was just going to edit some photos to make it look like it existed.
When I started looking up photos of corn cobs and candy corn, however, I found that some people had already made candy corn on the cob. That took the wind out of my sails, so I didn’t work on what I was going to do.
Instead, I read the post the Kyle wrote about how he made candy corn on the cob. It was interesting enough that I started reading some of his other posts. And before I knew it, Wednesday had come and gone and I had nothing ready for my own post.
Today’s post is rather lacking, for all it is is recounting how I wasted my lunch hour reading Something a Week.
It’s a good thing he stopped updating his blog (170 posts at one a week = over 3 years of making things), otherwise I might not have written even this much.
And while we are talking about corn on the cob, I must use this opportunity to educate certain people out there. When I was looking for pictures of corn cobs, many photos appeared that were not corn cobs. People were taking pictures of ears of corn and calling them corn cobs.
Those terms are not interchangeable. A corn cob is the part inside the ear of corn that you do not eat – it is what holds the kernels. Corn on the cob means the kernels are still attached. A photo of a corn cob should be an ear of corn with no husk and no kernels. In other works, corn on the cob minus the corn. Please keep that straight and label your photos accordingly.
Other interesting posts at that blog:
Real-life Mario coins
Punch in the face
French toast stick
The desire of the sluggard puts him to death, for his hands refuse to work;
Proverbs 21:25
About Me: 
Crocker Chronicle
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