Captions
Nuns: how do you solve a problem like Maria?
Mother Abbess: Ask Maria how she would solve the problem,
Mother Abbess: then do the same thing.
And, of course, the answer for how to solve a problem like Maria does is to sing about it.
But I personally have heard about you, that you are able to give interpretations and solve difficult problems. Now if you are able to read the inscription and make its interpretation known to me, you will be clothed with purple and wear a necklace of gold around your neck, and you will have authority as the third ruler in the kingdom.
Daniel 5:16
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Here is a guest post I wrote for SCL back in the day (2011 in case you’re wondering). It wasn’t run because I didn’t actually write a full blog post for Jon, I just sent him an outline of ideas. But I decided to fill it out and present it to you today.
Back when I was a Sunday School student, a visitor to the class would have a song sung to him (“There’s a welcome here…”) and get to pick out a prize, like a pencil or a sticker.
Now, as adults, if we get a visitor to the church we just let them know there’s a card they can fill out with their information.
What fun is that? Let’s have prizes for the adult visitors too!
Our church is small enough that it would work for them to come to the front and pick a prize from a box, but those of you in larger churches might have to come up with different ideas.
But the crowds were aware of this and followed Him; and He welcomed them and began speaking to them about the kingdom of God, and curing those who had need of healing.
Luke 9:11
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This one is about 19 years late, but I didn’t see that anyone’s done this yet, so here it is.
If Gwen Stefani ever needs an idea for a store, she should open a Jewish bread store.
And, of course, all sales to females are final.
Because …
you can’t take that challah back, girl.
When I break your staff of bread, ten women will bake your bread in one oven, and they will bring back your bread in rationed amounts, so that you will eat and not be satisfied.
Leviticus 26:26
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There are some elements of slapstick humor that never grow old. One of those is people running into things. Replace people with animals, and it’s still fun. That was, if I remember correctly, a big portion of America’s Funniest Videos – people and animals running into or falling off things.
A couple months ago, we got our sliding glass doors (AKA patio doors) replaced, because they were drafty and cloudy and needed it. The view to the backyard is much better now, it’s like the glass isn’t even there, it’s so new and clear.
The animals think so too. We occasionally hear a “thump” and by the time we get over to the doors, there is nothing there. So don’t worry, no birds were harmed in the making of this blog post. But the birds did leave some evidence, so we do know that it was a bird.
Exhibit A:
That was kind of faint, so here’s Exhibit B, with different lighting/exposure.
And if you still didn’t see it, this panning shot should help. Exhibit C:
It is hidden from the eyes of every living creature, And concealed from the birds of the sky.
Job 28:21
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Here is a guest post I wrote for SCL back in the day (2011 in case you’re wondering, and no, the link there is not to my guest post). It wasn’t run because I didn’t actually write a full blog post for Jon, I just sent him an outline of ideas. But I decided to fill it out and present it to you today.
Cheering for Bannerman
Many of you may be wondering who Bannerman is. Kids these days don’t know their history. Bannerman was 20 years old when I started writing this guest post over a decade ago.
Bannerman is a song by Steve Taylor. Not Tyler, Taylor. Also popular for the song “Lifeboat”.
But Bannerman the song is about Bannerman the person who was ubiquitous in that era: the guy who holds up the Bible verse behind the goal posts during football games. I don’t know how that guy was able to make it to every single football game, or how he managed to get tickets in the same spot in various stadia, but that guy was consistent.
He may have retired or something, because I don’t see him at every game anymore. Or maybe the ticket prices are keeping him from attending multiple games every weekend.
I also wonder if he thought of himself as a missionary
“What do you do?”
“I’m a missionary.”
“In what country?”
“In the USA.”
“Oh, which people group do you minister to?”
“Football fans.”
You have given a banner to those who fear You, That it may be displayed because of the truth.
Psalm 60:4
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Thanks to a recent TV ad that shows Michael Bolton singing a version of “How am I Supposed to Live Without You” but with slightly altered lyrics, I was inspired to write this blog post.
I don’t know why it popped into my head this way, but I think there must have been some other TV ad that played or referenced the song “Grandma Got Run OVer by a Reindeer”, and I noticed the two songs fit together well.
Behold:
And it goes the other way too, but I’ll leave that as an exercise to the reader, to put the words to “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” to the music of “How Am I Supposed to Live Without You”.
It’s not perfect though. For one thing this is just the chorus. I have better things to do with my time than to fit the verses of these songs together. Plus no one knows the verses anyway.
And the Michael Bolton song has 5 lines in the chorus but the Grandma song has only 4. I removed one line to make it, and I’m guessing no one noticed until I pointed it out.
Who improvise to the sound of the harp, And like David have composed songs for themselves
Amos 6:5
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Here is a guest post I wrote for SCL back in the day (2011 in case you’re wondering). It wasn’t run because I didn’t actually write a full blog post for Jon, I just sent him an outline of ideas. But I decided to fill it out and present it to you today.
Wondering What to Think of Mel Gibson
It seems that celebrities can fall in and out of favor with Christians. Or rather with Christian media or culture, I haven’t figured out who decides the correct opinion on people.
In general, a celebrity is embraced by Christians once news gets out of his conversion. “Hey, we got So-and-so now!” But since he’s human, and in the spotlight, he will mess up somehow and then will no longer be the trendy poster-boy for American Christianity. We shouldn’t be so fickle, and I hope that in general any new Christian can find a local church that will support and encourage new believers through whatever problems they have.
In this particular case of Mel Gibson though, it seems his popularity within Christianity has had more ups and downs than anyone else.
It starts out with his background: a movie actor who was raised Catholic. Okay, we’ll take that.
Wait, he makes R-rated movies? Never mind, that’s bad.
But he’s making a movie about Jesus. And it’s faithful to the source material? Ok, that’s good.
Did you see he got a DUI? That’s not good.
And he made disparaging remarks about Jews? That’s not good either, what’s wrong with this guy?
He apologized for that though. Well, apologizing is a Christian trait, so that’s good.
Mr. Gibson may have been in and out of the news in the decade or so since I wrote the first draft, but I haven’t kept up. If he has, it’s certainly not been to the level it was back then.
Do not trust in noblemen, In mortal man, in whom there is no salvation.
Psalm 146:3
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This is Alpha, the first-born, when he was 2YO.
This is Beta, the second-born, when he was about 2YO.
This is Gamma, the third-born, when he was about 18MO.
