I took a picture of this keyboard. A fellow engineer had modified it with labels so that it would be matched to the workload of a certain co-worker of his. I apologize for the quality of the photo, but I’ll list the keys afterward.
Note: “Eng” means engineer.
Top Row: Complain to Chief Eng 1, Complain to Chief Eng 2, Complain to Chief Eng 3
Middle Row: Forward to Eng 1, Forward to Eng 2, Forward to Eng 3
Bottom Row: Forward to Manager 1, Forward to Manager 2, Forward to Manager 3
Navigation Keys: Yes, We’ll Do That
Num Pad: Select Project 1, Select Project 2
And he called him and said to him, ‘What is this I hear about you? Give an accounting of your management, for you can no longer be manager.’
Luke 16:2
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In a little-publicized press release, the NFL announced that teams who currently do not have cheerleading squads will be supplied with cheerleaders from the Recording Industry Association of America.
Transcript:
Cheerleader (offscreen): Rah! Rah! Sis-boom-bah!
Cheerleader (offscreen): Rah! Rah! Sis-boom-bah!
Lady Gaga (on a football field): Rah! Rah! Sis-boom-bah!
Lady Gaga: Caught in a bad romance
Ryan Seacrest: Looks like they went
Ryan Seacrest: Three and … OUT!
Would He not let my few days alone?
Withdraw from me that I may have a little cheer
Job 10:20
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Transcript:
Late-show host: Ladies and gentlemen … Miss Jepsen!
Carly Rae Jepsen: “Miss Jepsen” sounds too formal.
Late-show host: Can I call you Maybe?
I thought the comic could use another panel, but I decided to give the options here instead. What should Carly Rae Jepsen’s response be?
- No, but you can call me a taxi.
- Sure, just don’t call me late for dinner.
- I am serious… and don’t call me Shirley.
- Good night Gracie.
Any other good lines?
Then the commander of the officials assigned new names to them; and to Daniel he assigned the name Belteshazzar, to Hananiah Shadrach, to Mishael Meshach and to Azariah Abed-nego.
Daniel 1:7
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Our two vacations this year have taken us to two of the Great Lakes. With the water levels down slightly, I got to thinking “what if they weren’t so great anymore? What would they be called?”
So I present to you the Good Lakes.
First, a refresher on the names of the Great Lakes:
Superior, Michigan, Huron, Erie, and Ontario.
Now, the names of the lakes if they are downgraded to Good Lakes:
Average, Michigan State, Eagle, Westo, and Manitoba.
Average should make sense to anyone.
Michigan State will make sense to those who know what the Big Ten is.
Eagle should make sense to those who know a little bit about Eastern Michigan University.
Westo won’t make sense to anyone. Really, off the top of your head, could you come up with something that would rank below an Erie? I had to look this one up. I’ll save you the trouble and tell you that the Westo tribe is what the Erie tribe became after they got kicked out of the Lake Erie region by the Iroquois.
Manitoba should make sense to us northerners. And if you’re from Manitoba, rest assured that I based the ranking on geographical area and population, not on the quality of the people in the province.
I did not go to the next step of naming the Bad Lakes. Of course, the first one would be Lake Inferior. I’ll let you, dear reader, figure out the names of the other lakes.
Now on one of those days Jesus and His disciples got into a boat, and He said to them, “Let us go over to the other side of the lake.” So they launched out.
Luke 8:22
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The movie 8 Mile, starring Eminem, is a bit outdated now. It played well in the US, putting some part of Detroit on the map, so to speak, for Americans who might not be familiar with the area otherwise.
It has taken 10 years, but there is now an international version of the movie. Most people outside the USA know Detroit only for the auto show, or maybe gunshots. But now Eminem’s movie has been released in an international format:
It is available in English, French, Spanish, German, Russian, and Japanese. And, to make all those viewers feel more included, all the measurements have been converted to metric (kilometers and such).
For example, instead of “Everybody from the 313”, now it is “Everybody from the 503.6”. I’m sure that makes it much easier for Europeans to understand.
For You have abandoned Your people, the house of Jacob,
Because they are filled with influences from the east,
And they are soothsayers like the Philistines,
And they strike bargains with the children of foreigners.
Isaiah 2:6
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Disclaimer: I’m not very Southern. I’m not from the South. So all I have to go on for this post are some vague stereotypes.
Definitions:
- y’awl : /yôl/ : noun : a tool for poking holes in Southern things
- pshawl : /(p)SHôl/ : noun : an outer garment that you cannot believe she’s actually wearing
- y’all : /yôl/ : noun : a detergent used for cleaning barbeque stains from fabric
Your southern sector shall extend from the wilderness of Zin along the side of Edom, and your southern border shall extend from the end of the Salt Sea eastward.
Numbers 34:3
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This post was inspired by both Jon’s post about the Edifi and back-to-school sales.
The idea here is “What if the concept of the Edifi had been applied about 25 years ago?”
There would be no electronic tablets to embrace and extend, so they (the nebulous “they” in this case is the Christian marketplace) would have set their sights on the equivalent: the Trapper Keeper.
Of course, it would be made by a company called “Mead and Persian”.
Then the LORD said to Cain, “Where is Abel your brother?” And he said, “I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?”
Genesis 4:9
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This is Alpha, the first-born, when he was 2YO.
This is Beta, the second-born, when he was about 2YO.
This is Gamma, the third-born, when he was about 18MO.
