This is Alpha, the first-born, when he was 2YO.
This is Beta, the second-born, when he was about 2YO.
This is Gamma, the third-born, when he was about 18MO.
Not Camouflage
Oct
4
2012
Isaac went out to meditate in the field toward evening; and he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, camels were coming.
Genesis 24:63
Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
Plant Pun
Sep
27
2012
You cannot stop The Ferninator
I know, I know … it’s a hosta, not a fern. How about if we say the hosta is a Model 101 and the fern is a T-1000?
For thus the Lord said to me, “In a year, as a hired man would count it, all the splendor of Kedar will terminate;”
Isaiah 21:16
New Look at an Old Proverb
Sep
20
2012
Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.
Proverbs 16:18
Manager’s Keyboard
Sep
13
2012
I took a picture of this keyboard. A fellow engineer had modified it with labels so that it would be matched to the workload of a certain co-worker of his. I apologize for the quality of the photo, but I’ll list the keys afterward.
Note: “Eng” means engineer.
Top Row: Complain to Chief Eng 1, Complain to Chief Eng 2, Complain to Chief Eng 3
Middle Row: Forward to Eng 1, Forward to Eng 2, Forward to Eng 3
Bottom Row: Forward to Manager 1, Forward to Manager 2, Forward to Manager 3
Navigation Keys: Yes, We’ll Do That
Num Pad: Select Project 1, Select Project 2
And he called him and said to him, ‘What is this I hear about you? Give an accounting of your management, for you can no longer be manager.’
Luke 16:2
New Cheerleader
Aug
30
2012
In a little-publicized press release, the NFL announced that teams who currently do not have cheerleading squads will be supplied with cheerleaders from the Recording Industry Association of America.
Transcript:
Cheerleader (offscreen): Rah! Rah! Sis-boom-bah!
Cheerleader (offscreen): Rah! Rah! Sis-boom-bah!
Lady Gaga (on a football field): Rah! Rah! Sis-boom-bah!
Lady Gaga: Caught in a bad romance
Ryan Seacrest: Looks like they went
Ryan Seacrest: Three and … OUT!
Would He not let my few days alone?
Withdraw from me that I may have a little cheer
Job 10:20
Maybe Rae Jepsen
Aug
23
2012
Transcript:
Late-show host: Ladies and gentlemen … Miss Jepsen!
Carly Rae Jepsen: “Miss Jepsen” sounds too formal.
Late-show host: Can I call you Maybe?
I thought the comic could use another panel, but I decided to give the options here instead. What should Carly Rae Jepsen’s response be?
- No, but you can call me a taxi.
- Sure, just don’t call me late for dinner.
- I am serious… and don’t call me Shirley.
- Good night Gracie.
Any other good lines?
Then the commander of the officials assigned new names to them; and to Daniel he assigned the name Belteshazzar, to Hananiah Shadrach, to Mishael Meshach and to Azariah Abed-nego.
Daniel 1:7
Not-So-Great Lakes
Aug
16
2012
Our two vacations this year have taken us to two of the Great Lakes. With the water levels down slightly, I got to thinking “what if they weren’t so great anymore? What would they be called?”
So I present to you the Good Lakes.
First, a refresher on the names of the Great Lakes:
Superior, Michigan, Huron, Erie, and Ontario.
Now, the names of the lakes if they are downgraded to Good Lakes:
Average, Michigan State, Eagle, Westo, and Manitoba.
Average should make sense to anyone.
Michigan State will make sense to those who know what the Big Ten is.
Eagle should make sense to those who know a little bit about Eastern Michigan University.
Westo won’t make sense to anyone. Really, off the top of your head, could you come up with something that would rank below an Erie? I had to look this one up. I’ll save you the trouble and tell you that the Westo tribe is what the Erie tribe became after they got kicked out of the Lake Erie region by the Iroquois.
Manitoba should make sense to us northerners. And if you’re from Manitoba, rest assured that I based the ranking on geographical area and population, not on the quality of the people in the province.
I did not go to the next step of naming the Bad Lakes. Of course, the first one would be Lake Inferior. I’ll let you, dear reader, figure out the names of the other lakes.
Now on one of those days Jesus and His disciples got into a boat, and He said to them, “Let us go over to the other side of the lake.” So they launched out.
Luke 8:22
