It may have been 9 below zero this morning, but spring training has started so I know winter’s demise is imminent.
I don’t really follow baseball, so I’m surprised that I know that spring training has started. And you may be surprised to know that I got a sneak peek at the new lineup for the 2011 baseball season.
That’s right, I have the exclusive scoop on who will be starting for Detroit. Without further ado, here is the starting lineup for the Detroit Tigers.
Click on the picture for a full-size version. It’s much easier to read.
And sorry about the verse – there are lions in the Bible but no tigers.
Twelve lions were standing there on the six steps on the one side and on the other; nothing like it was made for any other kingdom.
1 Kings 10:20
Posted in Humor, Sports | 1 Comment »
I spent some time with my favorite free photo editor and came up with this pun, a variation on the classic Folgers ad:
I also came up with some captions:
- The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.
- Never purchase military-grade coffee.
- Something about “MREs never get it right”.
- In Soviet Russia, coffee drinks you.
That last one is my favorite.
Paul said to the centurion and to the soldiers, “Unless these men remain in the ship, you yourselves cannot be saved.”
Acts 27:31
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I don’t throw things away, which means my wallet just accumulates stuff. Not money, of course – that never stays in the wallet very long – but cards of various kinds.
My wallet was getting overweight – a little bulge around the middle. It needed to get a little more trim, so I put it on a low-card diet. That Dr. Atkins knew what he was talking about – cut some of the cards out of the wallet and its girth shrunk in half.
Cards in my Wallet Before and After:
What? He said “low-carb diet”?
Oh well, my wallet’s doing fine now, but I’ll keep it away from carbs too, I suppose.
In case you’re wondering: 3 expired credit cards, expired zoo membership card, old Blockbuster card, old AAA membership card, some business cards, and phone cards (2 pre-paid (mostly used up), 1 account-type thingy).
Now it came about as they were emptying their sacks, that behold, every man’s bundle of money was in his sack; and when they and their father saw their bundles of money, they were dismayed.
Genesis 42:35
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Last year, our kids received the game Guess Who by Milton Bradley and/or Hasbro.
For those not familiar with the game, you need some context. Guess Who involves guessing which character the other person has chosen. Each player starts with the same pool of people. By asking yes-or-no questions (“Does your person have a beard?”), you eliminate groups of characters and are eventually left with one person.
The game necessarily has a limited number of characteristics – too much diversity and it would be hard to eliminate groups of characters. The people have two skin tones – light/dark or black/white or whatever/whatever.
Since my family is half Asian, one thing that I noticed while my kids were playing the game is that there are no Asians in the game. The European features are represented and the African features are represented, but there are no Oriental features.
To remedy this oversight, I have produced an new version of Guess Who. I call it “Guess Hu”.
Feel free to print out these sheets and use them the next time you play Guess Who.
View Guess Hu Sheet (or click on the image below)
As for their appearance, all four of them had the same likeness, as if one wheel were within another wheel.
Ezekiel 10:10
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I’m sure this has been done before, but – so that I can honestly say I haven’t seen it anywhere else – I didn’t look it up to check.
Enjoy!
Non-image version
Luke Skywalker: Ben, I can’t get the hang of these chopsticks
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Well then, use the forks, Luke
I think it fits well with Luke’s attitude in Episode 4. He whines a lot and can’t do much for himself.
Then I warned them and said to them, “Why do you spend the night in front of the wall? If you do so again, I will use force against you.” From that time on they did not come on the sabbath.
Nehemiah 13:21
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You know what they say: a foal and his money are soon parted.
The photo of the mare and foal is courtesy of someone I don’t know. All I did was add the captions.
Now when he had spent everything, a severe famine occurred in that country, and he began to be impoverished.
Luke 15:14
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I never had to diagram sentences for school.
I think it’s something I would have liked, so I’m giving it a shot now. These might not be done correctly, so let me know if I got any wrong.
But that doesn’t look right, because the punishment is rehab, not a year. Let me change it so that the object is rehab, like it should be.
(more…)
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This is Alpha, the first-born, when he was 2YO.
This is Beta, the second-born, when he was about 2YO.
This is Gamma, the third-born, when he was about 18MO.
