Some Blog Site

I registered as a member at the Home Depot website. Which means that I get their emails. Which means I am a target of their marketing.

So they sent me this email:

And I doubt that it was “handpicked”.

My guess it was an algorithm that determined which items they would like to sell, and then they sent me and everyone else in my area those items.

They were not picked especially for me. Nor were they picked by hand. The items were picked by computer for a group of people.

I don’t know why it bothers me that they say that. I ignore those emails anyway. The only emails that get my attention are the 10% or 15% off for this week emails. I add things to my Home Depot shopping list and wait for the coupon. Then I go buy them when they are discounted via the coupon. Emails with random (to me) items that you want to sell are not going to catch my attention.

After mulling it over for a few minutes now, I think I do know why it bothers me – they are misusing the word “handpicked”. It has a specific definition, which they are ignoring to further their marketing purposes. It’s like the boy who cried wolf. But now it’s the marketer who cried handpicked. By the time someone who actually handpicks things tries to use it, it will be meaningless to the public and they won’t care about handpicked anymore.

So, please, use “handpicked” correctly. Save it for when it is true.

And don’t get me started on mass email that contain the phrase “personally invite” or “personal invitation”.

I realize this post is years behind the times, but I must vent about Outback Steakhouse’s slogan of “No Rules, Just Right”.

My first thought when I heard that slogan was that I should go have a meal and then walk out without paying. If they complained, I would respond that their ad had billed their restaurant as a place with no rules, which means that they can’t tell me I have to pay anything.

And the second thing that came to mind was regarding the second half of that slogan. For how can you know what is right if there are no rules? If something is right, then there must be a wrong. And what is it that divides right from wrong? Rules.

Alas, they switched their slogan to “Done Right” before I did anything about “No Rules, Just Right”.

Apparently some people followed the directions on the front of this box:

Just attach the handlebars, add gas, and you can start driving.

And I’m sure they did. And I’m sure it worked fine.

For one time.

After that, it was probably hard to start. And they probably started complaining to the manufacturer (and/or the store where they bought the product).

And, after some intensive customer service work, they probably had some satisfied customers.

And they probably had a lesson for their packaging/labelling/marketing group.

I counted three separate stickers – one on the seat (so you would see it before you sat down to drive it), one on the gas cap (so you would see it as you went to fill it with that initial gas), and one on the handlebar assembly.

Plus they included a container of engine oil, so that those who prepared for their purchase by reading the instructions on the outside of the box would not have to go buy it.

I am, of course, conjecturing about how those stickers came to be. But I bet it was not the original plan to place those stickers everywhere.

It’s fall, which means the toad lilies are in bloom. In case you’re not familiar with toad lilies, here is a photo:

I took that photo of our plants. But all the flower catalogs and websites show a similar photo. The toad lily blooms are colorful and intricate.

And since they are called “lilies”, one would picture them as with normal daylilies.

But no.

You’ll notice that no one who sells toad lilies shows the whole plant.

Here’s our flower garden with the toad lilies:

See any bright, colorful blooms?

Here, try a little closer:

Better?

I’ll circle them for you, in case you’re not sure.

The blooms are interesting, but they’re also tiny.

Caveat hortarius

I have noticed a certain ad that’s been on TV recently. It’s for a Toyota Corolla.

The ad features the song “You Don’t Own Me”, originally by Leslie Gore. The version of the song in the ad is not sung by her it seems, but rather by the group of active young adults portrayed in the commercial. There are people leaving (quitting?) work, people bicycling, people roller derbying, people going various places in their Toyotas. The activities shown somewhat match the feel and lyrics of the song. People are doing what they feel free to do – they are living their lives the way they want.

But then the car gets shown.

And it’s doing things opposite all that.

I think that’s not what the advertising agency was trying to do, which makes it amusing.

For example, right as the people are singing “Don’t tell me what to do”, the commercial is showing the car telling the driver what to do. Specifically, it shows the lane-departure warning telling the driver to get back in her lane.

So now I’m confused – do you want a car that tells you what to do, or don’t you?

All the safety and comfort features are about the car doing things for the driver. The song is ostensibly about empowerment, the car is about taking control away (depowerment?).

It certainly is a contrast.

If you really want a car that doesn’t tell you what to do and lets you be free from oversight, get one of the first or early second generation Dodge Vipers. Manual transmission, no stability or warning systems – you are in complete control.

It looks like my highlighting of marketing mistakes is paying off. Some of you may recall a prior blog post in which I noted a bottle of something touted that it had “+25% more bonus” as if you wanted more bonus and not more product.

I noticed this can of stuff the other day:

These people did it right: a hyphen separates the two expressions about the product. One expression is “20% more” and the other expression is “bonus!” It’s like having both Bill and Ted on the label.

What’s vaguely entertaining is watching the ads that appear after I’ve searched for something.

For example, I recently looked up a variety of hotels for our upcoming vacation. Sure enough, right after I booked the hotels for the trip, what do many of the Google ads show me? Hotels in those locations.

I know enough about how advertising and the internet work that I was not surprised that Google knew that information.

What did amuse me though was its uselessness. Why bother showing me ads after I’ve booked the hotels? I realize they might not know for sure that I booked the hotels, but it seems backwards to me.

Once I stop searching for hotels, the ads should show me things to do near those hotels.

Wouldn’t that make more sense?