Some Blog Site

My wife does a fair bit of baking. So we have bags of flour sitting around. I happened to read the back of one of them, and this is what it says:

Did you see the fifth item on the list: “high gluten”? I was somewhat surprised to see that on there.

Maybe they didn’t get the memo that nobody is supposed to like gluten anymore.

Or maybe they figured that if they put gluten in the middle of a list of good things, people might skip over it.

Or maybe they figured that people who know how to make bread know that gluten helps it.

On a related note: any ideas where all the gluten goes that they take out of food to make it gluten-free?

I got to thinking: what if you combined James Bond with Disney’s Frozen?

The answer: Double-O Sven

How much of a movie powerhouse would that be?

That’s right – Arendelle’s intelligence ministry’s best agent is an overgrown donkey.

If the James Bond movies were remade using Frozen characters, this is what it might look like:
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I try not to upgrade my software.

For reference, here is an example of what you might see sometimes when you start a program:

If I were in charge of the wording on the upgrade notices, here is what it would look like:

We were curious, could a bank find more ways to annoy people?

After leaving a few voicemails, we were curious – where have the customers gone?

That was my attempt at parodying [unnamed bank]’s recent marketing plan. But it was inspired by actual events – just paying my mortgage.

You see, I have my mortgage through them but I don’t have anything else – no checking or savings account with them. They have a branch a mile or so from my workplace, so, to save a stamp, I would stop by on my commute home and pay the monthly mortgage bill in person.

The teller offered me a sum of money if I would open a checking account with them. Since I was planning on getting a new mortgage in the near future, I declined. No sense changing over checks, direct deposit info, etc. for a few months only to have the new mortgage with someone else.

But the next time, she gave me a pamphlet and business card for the banker lady who could setup the account. Rather than argue, I said “Sure, I’ll look at it” and went on with my life.

A week later, my phone rang. It was not a number I recognized, so I let it go to voicemail. It was the banker lady, who left her phone number and asked me to call her back. “No way,” I thought to myself. “I’m not voluntarily subjecting myself to a sales pitch.”

Two days later, the phone rang again. This time, I recognized her number, so I let it go to voicemail. Her message said she had to discuss my mortgage with me. Nice try, but that’s a bit of a stretch.

A week later, I got my normal mortgage statement in the mail.

I wrote a check and put a stamp on the return envelope. I am not going back to that branch ever again.

Radio advertisers need to spell out website names, especially if they contain a name or word with homonyms. Like duel/dual. Or Catherine / Katherine.

Or a store name that isn’t common and people could guess wrong. Like Hods. Or is it Haads? Or Hahds?

Numbers too. Spell them out if they are spelled. If the domain name does contain numerals, tell us that. Don’t just not spell them. For example: ” …, the number 4, and …”

Radio spots are the hardest advertising medium to make an impression and convey information that people will remember. If all those commuters don’t know how to spell your website, how will they get to it? Will they even bother if they think they don’t know what it is?

On the other hand, maybe the advertisers are doing it on purpose. By having it slightly unclear, they are forcing the listeners to think about their ad. That would create a more lasting impression than a typical ad that is consumed without thought.

We got this mass-mailing the other week:

Anyone else bothered by the term “custom jewelry in stock”?

To me “custom” means it is made to my specifications.

And “in stock” means something that is already made and sitting on the counter or in the case, ready to be bought the moment I walk in the store.

So unless the store employs psychics, there cannot be, by definition, any custom jewelry in stock.

I see a very ripe marketing opportunity for a certain retailer.

Target should start sponsoring local road signs:

Of course, the landscaping in the middle of the roundabout would have to be modified too:

I’m sure whichever part of the government that handles road signs would be glad to accept sponsorship dollars.

Any other stores or corporations that would be a good fit for a road sign?