Some Blog Site

Hyphens do matter:

I have noticed that more and more places are offering white hot chocolate, in addition to the ubiquitous pumpkin spice latte and whatever other seasonal drinks are popular these days. Consider this a public service announcement: do not order the white-hot chocolate.

I recently wrote a blog post about my electric bill. The reason my bill is higher than my neighbors’ is that my house uses electric resistance heat. It is not unheard of, but it is unusual enough that people are surprised by it.

We are hoping to move next year. That implies that we are going to try to sell our house. Having an unusual heating arrangement may scare off some potential buyers. I am hoping to prevent that by making a flyer that people will see when they come to see the house.

Reasons why electric heat is better than a furnace:

1. No Maintenance
2. Zones
3. Will Not Kill You While You Sleep
4. Better for Allergies
5. Quiet
6. Green
7. Outages

Maybe it won’t persuade everyone, but it should at least reduce their prejudices against electric heat.

The only thing not on the list is cost. That’s because electric is not better than gas or propane on that point.

But it’s not as bad as people think. And since we switched to electric from heating oil (fuel oil), our costs have gone down. I do plan on providing the numbers so that potential buyers can see how much we spend to heat the house.

The dentists and orthodontists around here will buy Halloween candy from kids so that the kids won’t eat it and they will have healthier teeth. Someone with a vested interest in unhealthy teeth should take advantage of that opportunity.

Transcript:
Telephone handset: Hello, and thanks for calling Paul’s Appliance Repair, where we exceed your expectations. How can we help you?
Lady: Yes, my washer stopped working. Can you come take a look at it?
Paul’s: Sure, we can be there in 10 minutes.
Lady: Wow, you got here fast!
Paul’s: Yes ma’am – we try to exceed your expectations.
Paul’s: Okay, it’s fixed now.
Lady: Wow, that was fast too.
Paul’s: Yes ma’am – we try to exceed your expectations.
Lady: How much do I owe you?
Paul’s: $500. That’s $250 for the service call and $250 for parts and labor.
Lady: I was expecting to pay around $200.
Paul’s: Yes ma’am – we try to exceed your expectations.
Lady: I knew there was a catch.

I never really liked the phrase “exceed your expectations”. In general, I prefer not to have surprises. I want to know what to expect and then I want those expectations fulfilled.

It’s nice if you can do better than forecast, but don’t surprise me with it.
“Good news, sir. We were able to fix your car two days faster than the initial estimate of six days!”
“Why is that good news? I’m out of town and won’t be back for another two days – right when my car was supposed to be ready. I hope you didn’t have to work any overtime to finish it sooner.”

The car owner might sound grumpier than he needs to sound, but I hope you get the point – surprises are not always good. In the service industry, your goal should be to make the customer happy, not to exceed his expectations. Maybe exceeding his expectations is one way to make him happy, or maybe understanding his expectations and meeting them is another way, or maybe clearly defining what you will accomplish so that his expectations are correct is another way.

This post is directed at both the FDA and Minute Maid, but you should read it too so that you are warned of the inaccurate labels on food products these days.

I bought a couple of things that were labelled as 100% juice. I like to buy things with as few ingredients as possible.

So I saw these items with “100% Juice” on the package and I bought them, naively thinking that “100% Juice” meant that it contained only juice. A package can’t contain more than 100% of its contents, right? So if 100% of the box is juice, there is no room left for anything else that’s not juice.

As you probably have guessed, companies get to round up or something. They start with 100% juice, then they add something so it’s mostly juice and some additives, but they still call it 100%.

That last step is where I disagree. Call it “Mostly Juice”, call it “99% Juice”, just don’t call it “100% Juice” – reserve the label “100% Juice” for items that are juice, all juice, and nothing but juice.

I went to Nevada earlier this year. It was my first time there, and also my first time to go to a certain restaurant, about which I have heard people rave. Maybe this blog post could inspire a new marketing campaign for them.

After my experience, I composed a song. Remember that it was the spring, so there was a slight wind and it was not too hot yet. We visited the restaurant after driving back from some attraction. Picture that it is late, after the sun went down.

Without further ado, here is the song. I hope you like it

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of carnitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my stomach thin, I had to stop for a bite
There it stood in the strip mall, it could my hunger quell
I was thinking to myself, “This could be heaven or something else”
Then she asked for my order and she showed me the way
There were voices behind the counter, I thought I heard them say

Welcome to the restaurant called Chipotle
Such a yummy place (such a yummy place)
Such a yummy space
Plenty of food at the restaurant called Chipotle
Any time of year
You can find it here

There are more verses to write. I don’t have them all down yet, but here are some of the phrases that should go into the song:

• her rice is cilantro-twisted
• some eat to remember, some eat to forget
• so I called to the cashier, please bring me my lime
• and she said, “we are all just customers here, of our own device.”

Now if only I could find a good tune to go with the words… Someone contact the Eagles and see if they can help.

And from what I hear from people near a Chipotle, once you start frequenting a Chipotle, you can’t stop. To put it another way, you can check out any time you want, but you’ll come back later.

Or something like that.

We bought an item from the grocery store. The packaging described it as “light and fluffy”.

Just to make sure we are on the same page, let me run through some items I would describe as light and fluffy.

• Cotton candy
• Cotton balls
• Whipped cream (after it leaves the can)
• Clouds
• Feathers and/or down

Now that you’re thinking of light and fluffy things, let me show you the product:

Potatoes! No, a potato is not light and fluffy.

If it would hurt to have someone throw an item at you, that item cannot be described as light and fluffy.