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Here is a photo of a container of eggs that we bought at the store.

Regular readers of this blog will already know where I am going with this. So I could just leave it at that. But, for the sake of my irregular readers, I will continue.

The phrase “Vegetarian Fed Hens” is ambiguous. You think they are trying to convey the idea that their hens do not eat meat, and these eggs came from those hens therefore you are getting healthier eggs.

But the phrase can be taken a few different ways. How do you know what they really mean?

Maybe they are trying to be sneaky. Maybe their chickens were fed meat, but it was a vegetarian who gave them the meat.
“No, look. It clearly says that a vegetarian fed our hens. Sure, we left an ‘a’ and an ‘our’, but no one really needs those articles anyway.”

Or maybe it’s worse than that. Maybe they kidnap unsuspecting vegetarians and feed them to the chickens.
That would probably be something a company would not want to admit on its packaging though.

For that reason, I cannot recommend the usual fix of adding a hyphen. That would make it read “Vegetarian-Fed Hens”, and that would not make it unambiguous as to what the hens are eating. We still wouldn’t know if the vegetarians are feeding the hens or being fed to the hens.

The real problem is that vegetarians is an adjective and a noun. The company meant it as an adjective but the phrase uses it as a noun. What we need is a complete rephrasing.

• “Our Hens are Vegetarians”
• “We Employ Vegetarian Hens”
• “Eggs from Vegetarian Hens”

Any other ideas?

I am disappointed with the editors at the marketing department of Colgate. Here is their current toothpaste. What is wrong with it?

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Ann Voskamp’s book One Thousand Gifts is fairly popular. But it’s getting a little stale in that it came out over a year ago. It needs an update.

I took it upon myself to produce some book covers, should she ever decide to write the following books:

A book on sorting flour, entitled One Thousand Sifts

A book on older formats of clip art, entitled One Thousand Gifs

A book on peanut butter, entitled One Thousand Jifs

A book on energy bars, entitled One Thousand Clifs

I thought about her book on elevators, entitled One Thousand Lifts, but I decided to pass on the cover art for that one.

Any other titles?

H&R Block has a simple, recognizable logo.

I would dare say it’s in need of updating, mainly to appeal to those of us who like fonts.

To those who aren’t as well-versed in fonts: let me start by saying that block is a style of font. Sans-serif. Probably all caps.

So I updated H&R Block to use other styles of fonts:

That last one is not a font update, but rather a nod to those people who don’t like sharp corners. You never know – maybe there is a market for H&R Circle.

A problem with society today is impatience. Cable TV (a generic term that includes satellite and internet TV also) is part of that problem.

No, not the shows on television, although I’m sure they aren’t helping any.

The main problem is the name of their services:

On Demand

You want this show? Demand it!
You want that show? Demand it!
You want anything from your TV? Demand it!

And the problem is that you get what you demand, immediately.

It’s tough enough to teach children to wait their turn and ask politely. We don’t need another influence to teach impatience and rudeness.

If I ever own a TV or video service, I’m instituting an On Request service.

And you would have to say “please”.

As I was strolling through Costco, my eye was caught by a brightly-colored sign on the front of a palette of products. One side of the sign had a product, and the other side had a non-product.

I didn’t know you could bottle up something that’s not something else and sell it.

That got me thinking: what other non-products could I sell?

How about…

• a gallon of water and sell it as non-paint? I’d even mark it half-off and sell it for $5 or $10
• a bag of sand and sell it as non-sugar?
• an old calculator and sell it as a non-iPad?

What would you sell?

As is my habit during breakfast, I was perusing the cereal boxes at the table.

Various cereal companies have taken to highlighting random nutritional facts at the top of the front of the box. This particular box was no exception.

I was surprised to see that this company has decided to change the symbol for iron.

As anyone who made it through high school should know, the symbol for iron is Fe, not Ir.

This cereal is unknowingly touting its content of iridium. Since iridium is very rare, this must be some special cereal.

They also got the symbol for zinc wrong, but Z is not used for anything else. Z versus Zn is not as obvious as Ir versus Fe.

Maybe they thought people were uneducated and wouldn’t know that Fe means iron. Well then, cereal company, this is your opportunity to improve the world a little. Provide that edumacation that the people need instead of furthering their ignorance.

Looking at the nutrition information, I’m wondering why they chose to tout zinc as high-content.

It’s not like zinc has a higher percentage than most of the other items. Iron does, so I can understand that. But so does folate. Why doesn’t folate get recognized?

Maybe the marketing group or box designers thought people want zinc.

I’d rather have iridium.