I recently read this sentence in a publication:
In life’s darkest moments, when nothing can minimize the unveiled devastation of a terminal diagnosis, news of a loved one’s death, a wayward spouse, drug use turned into addiction or crushing debt, do you value the offer of rescue?
You know what I thought when I read that?
How does drug use turn into crushing debt?
I realize debt usually goes along with drug use, as people waste money they have, run out, and still have to find money to continue their addiction. Plus, as we all learned in school, Drugs Are Really Expensive.
But I think that was not the idea they wanted to convey with that sentence. And I think the Oxford Comma would have helped clarify their thoughts. Here’s how I would re-write the sentence:
In life’s darkest moments – when nothing can minimize the unveiled devastation of a terminal diagnosis, news of a loved one’s death, a wayward spouse, drug use turned into addiction, or crushing debt – do you value the offer of rescue?
See how there is a comma between each separate item in the sentence, leaving no ambiguity for the reader. I see why they thought they should avoid the comma – it made for too many commas because of their clauses. But using hyphens to separate the clauses frees up the commas so that one can be used for the list.
Return, O Lord, rescue my soul; Save me because of Your lovingkindness.
Psalm 6:4
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In our travels, we usually get hotel rooms with a mini refrigerator. A recent hotel room had a problem though. Here’s a photo of the arrangement:
See the problem?
Here’s a shot of the thing on the wall, in case you need a little help:
If you still need help, here’s a picture of the fridge with the door open:
We were loading the fridge with stuff just after we arrived to the room. We heard beeping and figured it was the fridge letting us know the door was open too long. We have that feature on our full-size fridge at home, but weren’t expecting it on a mini-fridge.
So my wife shut the door for a second, then opened it again and the beeping resumed. She quickly realized it wasn’t the fridge. Rather, it was the carbon monoxide alarm. It is arranged such that the test button (that sounds the alarm) is pressed whenever the fridge door is opened wide.
Bad setup.
Of course, we left it that way for the next guests to discover.
Blow the horn in Gibeah, The trumpet in Ramah. Sound an alarm at Beth-aven: “Behind you, Benjamin!”
Hosea 5:8
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If you’re going to be doing anything significant with a socket set anytime soon, here is a tip for you:
All ratchets become torque wrenches at some point.
It’s just not calibrated.
In fact, one of my sockets – the actual socket, not the ratchet – broke while I was trying to remove one of the Buick’s calipers. The bolt wasn’t budging, so I tried the breaker bar and with much exertion, the bolt started to move. Or so I thought. The movement was that socket rotating because it was now larger than the bolt. The bolt, of course, was stubbornly not rotating.
And I had two other ratchets give up on me when I pushed them too hard. When the ratchet makes clicking noises in both directions, you have problems.
So now if you are going to deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me; and if not, let me know, that I may turn to the right hand or the left.
Genesis 24:49
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The worst part of a Slinky is when it gets twisted together. Once the coils get intertwined, I would much rather throw it away than try to get it untwisted. And in the rare case when it does come unstuck, the Slinky is never the same. There’s always a noticeable gap where the metal got bent and can never be put back to its original shape.
So you can imagine my disappointment when I ordered two coil springs for my Jeep and opened the box to find this:
I was glad that it wasn’t as bad as it looked. Just a slight tug and they came apart.
and two chains of pure gold; you shall make them of twisted cordage work, and you shall put the corded chains on the filigree settings.
Exodus 28:14
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There’s a company logo based on the Titanic. They won’t admit it, of course, but I found the connection.
First off, the Titanic:
Next, the Titanic as it is sinking (artist’s rendering):
Finally, the corporate logo:
Looks about right, doesn’t it?
so they signaled to their partners in the other boat for them to come and help them. And they came and filled both of the boats, so that they began to sink.
Luke 5:7
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One of the joys of buying a home is finding all the things the previous owners did to it. I know I used my first house as a learning experience to know how to and how not to do certain repairs/improvements.
I am redoing one of the closets in our house. I pulled off the boards that held up the old shelf in the closet and found this:
Apparently there was not a studfinder handy when he installed that shelf. And just in case you think it was an isolated case, here is the other wall of the closet:
The board wasn’t that long, about 15″ maybe.
On the plus side, I now know where exactly the stud is and where it isn’t.
A little bit of spackling and paint, and no one will ever know. As long as they don’t read this post.
He passed through the hill country of Ephraim and passed through the land of Shalishah, but they did not find them. Then they passed through the land of Shaalim, but they were not there. Then he passed through the land of the Benjamites, but they did not find them.
1 Samuel 9:4
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Back around the beginning of November, we had pumpkins sitting on our front porch. The kids had carved them into jack-o-lanterns, so they were just sitting there looking nice.
One morning, however, I opened the door to find that someone had vandalized them during the night.
It was more than just a smashing, as they evidently took some time mashing them up..
It was disconcerting that someone had taken the time to find our secluded house solely for the sake of ruining our kids’ carvings, as I didn’t see anything else amiss.
But then I looked closer.
And I saw claw marks.
I revised my guess about what happened to include raccoons instead of teenaged humans. And it restored my faith in our little neighborhood.
And now all its carved work They smash with hatchet and hammers.
Psalm 74:6
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This is Alpha, the first-born, when he was 2YO.
This is Beta, the second-born, when he was about 2YO.
This is Gamma, the third-born, when he was about 18MO.
