Some Blog Site

I was inspired by this FoxTrot comic strip

to figure out exactly how many horsepower would be the equivalent of 350 elephantpower.

My answer: 2800 hp.

But then I got to thinking “What other animal-power could there be?” So I came up with a list. And made it into a web page, so that you could find the equivalent of the power of various animals. For example, a 2009 VW Rabbit actually has about 71,000 rabbitpower.

Anyway, head on over to Some Fun Site and try the Animal Power Converter to figure out how other animals compare to horses.

I will note that Bill Amend must have done his research, because as far as I can tell, the elephant is the most powerful land animal. A blue whale would theoretically dwarf the elephant in terms of horsepower, but I kept the list to land animals.

When comparing animals, remember that power is a function of force and distance and time. So an ox might be able to generate a lot of force, but it is not very speedy so it has a low power rating. And a cheetah is very fast, but it can’t move a lot of weight at that speed so it also has a low power number. A transmission could help in each case – give the ox some higher gears and give the cheetah some lower gear.

And if there’s an animal you want added to the list, please leave a comment here.

The First Law of Bagels:
No matter where you start eating your bagel, the last bite will be the only part that was touching the garlic-onion bagel.

If someone brings in bagels to work, it’s usually in a bag and it’s the variety pack of bagels. I’ll pick something like a blueberry bagel, and it tastes nice and blueberry-y until the last bite. Obviously, my blueberry bagel has been resting against other bagels in its trip from the bagel store to out office. Most parts of my bagel had apparently been touching plain bagels, except there’s always that very fragrant (and whatever the word is for taste equivalent of fragrant) bagel in the bunch. And it’s taste is incompatible with that of the blueberry bagel.

Regardless of which part of the bagel I choose to eat first, the last bite is the one that has the most of the off-putting taste. I’d like to end my bagel-eating with just the flavor I chose, but it rarely works that way.

What is the point behind Title IX?

I know the original purpose of it – to prohibit discrimination in education. Not just athletics, but all aspects of education to ensure that girls get the same opportunities as boys. The public usually hears about it only with regard to athletics and scholarships for college though.

But in today’s society, there should be a conflict. More and more males are declaring themselves to be female and are allowed to compete against females.

I sense an opportunity for some college to test the waters of loophole.

For example, you may have heard of a college which has cut male scholarships because they need to maintain similar numbers in male and female scholarships, in order to comply with Title IX. What is to stop the college from persuading half the males to declare themselves female and thus eliminate the hassle of Title IX?

Do they even need to be female? What if they declare themselves to be non-male? Does that count? So many options nowadays.

The root of having different sports leagues/teams for men and women is that men and women are different in their physical development. Certainly there are outliers for specific accomplishments, but in general men are faster and stronger and better at whatever else makes up sporting events (as evidenced by the world/Olympic records for such events). If one is to argue that gender differences are cultural or societal and not biological, then one should also argue there should not be separate male and female sports. And one would also have to explain how such cultural limitations are worldwide and so consistent.

Also, if one agrees that we should now reconstruct the physical world to match what someone’s brain thinks it should be, rather than the other way around, does that mean psychiatry as a profession is on its way out?

Also also, bonus points goes to the university that attempts the aforementioned Title IX loophole if they also change their name from University to Diversity. Such as the Diversity of Minnesota or something.

Here are some thoughts I jotted down that aren’t quite sufficient for their own individual blog posts. If you’re the type of person who likes Twitter, pretend each of these is a tweet.

• What would impressionists do without George Bush and Arnold Schwarzenegger?
• What would happen if we sent only thoughts to a family affected by tragedy? Or prayers only? Is this one of those sum-greater-than-the-parts things? I know you can think about something without praying, but can you pray about something without thinking about it?
• Now that I mention it, the phrase people usually use is “our thoughts and prayers go out to the family” which means they are praying to that family. That’s just wrong, and I bet they really aren’t praying to the family, which means they’re also lying. Now if someone said “we are sending prayers to God for the family” I could agree with that.
• You know who is sitting on a gold mine? – Christian Bookstore Distributors. Yes, they own the website domain name of CBD. But how could they, as good Christians, sell that to the other people who really want the CBD name?
• Kids these days don’t know the words to classical music. I was singing the other day “Smurfberry crunch is fun to eat” and all I got was a funny look. At least my kids know the words to Carol of the Bells – it’s “garmin.com”

Any other words to classical tunes that you like?

If I asked “What is the largest mountain?” you would probably answer “Mt. Everest”.

There is an unambiguous meaning concerning what makes mountains big: it’s the height.

If I asked “What is the biggest lake?” you would probably look it up and find there are two answers because there are two meanings concerning what makes a lake big: area or volume.

My vote is for area.

What is the purpose of a lake?
To provide lakefront property? That requires shoreline, which is a function of area.
To run boats and jetskis? That requires area.
To provide scenic views and relaxing sunsets? No one cares about the volume of the lake for those.
To give waterfowl room to live? They care about the area.
To hold water for humans to use? That’s not a lake, that’s a reservoir.

Part of the problem is that we don’t have a word to describe area like we do for height. You can ask what the tallest mountain is. That is specifically for height. How do you ask what the lake is with the largest surface area? What is the area-est lake? No, you ask “What is the biggest lake?” Same thing for volume. What is the hold-mostest lake? No, you ask “What is the biggest lake?”

Any ideas for a word that means “largest surface area”?
Any ideas for a word that means “largest volume”?

And no, you are not allowed to suggest “loudest” as the answer for that last question.

I remember a comic had a routine that included the observation that people in cubicles always look out at people passing by.

I’ve tried not to look at people passing by my cubicle so that I would be the exception.

But then I noticed that I’m still part of the problem, because I glance into other people’s cubicles as I walk by them.

I don’t know why I do that.

I know the people already. Do I look in to see if they are the type to look out at passers-by? I should make an effort not to peer through cube doorways as I walk by.

On a related note, if Pavlov were making conclusions today, he might have been inspired by the response of project managers to the sound of someone joining a conference call.

*ding
“Hello who joined?”
“Alfred”
“Ok, welcome. On slide 3 you will s-”
*ding
“Hello who joined?”
“Hi, Ted here.”
“Alright, the timing cha-”
*ding
“Hello who joined?”
*ding
“Hello who joined?”

They develop an instinct of whenever they hear that chime/ding of the conference call system, they have to know who joined the call. It’s fascinating.

Here are some thoughts I jotted down that aren’t quite sufficient for their own individual blog posts. If you’re the type of person who likes Twitter, pretend each of these are tweets.

• Rice is never good the second time around. It is one of the few things that do not make acceptable leftovers, like fresh breadsticks. My wife disagrees, because one can make fried rice out of it. But if you’re doing that much cooking then it’s not leftovers.
• Does anyone actually use those tiny plastic domes on the lids of soft drinks at restaurants? You know, the ones that say regular, diet, and other. And one more category. I know what they’re for, but I’ve never seen them used for their intended purpose. Usually it’s just a child who’s trying to annoy his sibling by pressing his (plastic lid) buttons.
• I’ve seen enough people spit into drinking fountains that I always let the water run for a couple seconds before I take a drink. An ounce of prevention…
• I don’t need Loctite to keep the bolts in place on my vehicles. After a short time on these Michigan roads there’s enough rust to prevent them from turning. They actually salt the roads year-round.
• What is the plural of “cyclops”? What would a cyclop be?