Based on the popularity existence of last year’s article predicting bowl games in haiku form, I present to you this year’s all-haiku bowl game predictions. Still America’s only all-haiku college bowl game predictions.
These are listed in order of date (earliest first). Some picks are whom I think will win, and some picks are whom I want to win. I’ll leave it to you, the reader, to decide which is which.
Dec. 19th
New Mexico Bowl
Watch for bowl game creep
This game’s a day earlier
than it was last year
Fresno State over Wyoming
St. Petersburg Bowl
UCF/Rutgers
My prediction is that the
Knights will win this one
UCF over Rutgers
Dec. 20th
New Orleans Bowl
Do people go to
this bowl for the game or to
visit New Awlins?
Six over Half-dozen
Okay, okay, Southern Miss over Middle Tennessee
Dec. 22nd
Las Vegas Bowl
BYU’s fifth straight
Las Vegas bowl – it’s now their
home away from home
Oregon St. over BYU
Dec. 23rd
Poinsettia Bowl
Based on how they each
fared against the PAC-10 Ducks
Utah is better
Utah over Cal
Dec. 24th
Hawaii Bowl
Remember to use
an apostrophe when you
spell Hawai’i Bowl
Nevada over SMU
Dec. 26th
Little Caesars Bowl
If I pick against
C-USA, would I be
unpatriotic?
Ohio over Marshall
Meineke Car Care Bowl
Pitt should have won the
game against Cincinnati.
They’ll make up for it.
Pitt over UNC
Emerald Bowl
Similar colors
cause confusion on the field
What’s that shade of red?
BC over USC
Dec. 27th
Music City Bowl
They should not play a
college game on a Sunday.
That’s for NFL.
Kentucky over Clemson
Dec. 28th
Independence Bowl
I hope the bowl game
is handled a lot better
than their website is
Georgia over Texas A&M
Dec. 29th
EagleBank Bowl
UCLA beat
both Army and Navy to
get in this bowl game
UCLA over Temple
Champs Sports Bowl
“Florida Citrus Sports”
sounds like they should be playing
a game of fruitball
Miami over Wisconsin
Dec. 30th
Humanitarian Bowl
If Bowling Green would
change their name to Bowling Blue,
they’d fit in Boise
Bowling Green over Idaho
Holiday Bowl
Second place versus
Another second place team.
Gotta prove themselves
Arizona over Nebraska
Dec. 31st
Armed Forces Bowl
Grudge match for Air Force.
Maybe they can win this one?
Not against Keenum.
Houston over Air Force
Sun Bowl
Everyone knows that
you should not expect UO
to win their bowl game
Stanford over Oklahoma
Texas Bowl
As the saying goes:
Missouri loves company
And Midshipmen too
Navy over Missouri
Insight Bowl
Battle of the teams
that are evenly matched and
both mediocre
Iowa State over Minnesota
Chick-fil-A Bowl
Kiffen in charge now.
Head coaches can’t be younger
than I am, can they?
VT over Tennessee
Jan. 1st
Outback Bowl
The Outback Bowl should
be played in Australia,
not in Florida
Northwestern over Auburn
Capital One Bowl
Les Miles on one side.
Coaching by odometer,
JoePa has more miles
PSU over LSU
Gator Bowl
Bowden insulted
Shouldn’t his last game be in
the Seminole Bowl?
WVU over FSU
Rose Bowl
Buckeyes have trouble
in the national spotlight
and lose their bowl games
Oregon over Ohio State
Sugar Bowl
Swan song for Tebow
But don’t forget the team has
other players too.
Florida over Cincinnati
Jan. 2nd
International Bowl
This game is on a
palindrome date. It should start
at 12:21
NIU over USF
Papajohns.com Bowl
Last of the sponsors
left from the dot-com era.
Pizza or website?
UConn over South Carolina
Cotton Bowl
Even college teams
will need to watch out for the
big low-flying screens
OK St. over Ole Miss
Liberty Bowl
The Liberty Bowl
was founded by Pass and Stow.
Who’s this Dudley guy?
Arkansas over East Carolina
Alamo Bowl
Michigan State has
its third-straight bowl appearance.
That’s more than U-Mich.
Texas Tech over MSU
Jan. 4th
Fiesta Bowl (A.K.A. The Kids’ Table Bowl)
BCS afraid
of having non-AQ teams
upset BCS
Boise St. over TCU
Jan. 5th
Orange Bowl
Iowa didn’t
win the Big 10 but it might
win the ACC
Iowa over Georgia Tech
Jan. 6th
GMAC Bowl
Troy won the Sun Belt
but they will have to do more
to catch LeFevour
CMU over Troy
Jan. 7th
Cleverly-named National Championship Game Bowl
What does ‘Bama do
to teams whose franchise player
is their quarterback?
Texas over Alabama
And that’s it for this year’s BCS and non-BCS bowl game predictions. Tune in later, about the second week of January, for the results show.
Blessed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl.
Deuteronomy 28:5