Archive for June, 2011

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Birthday Party Warning

Jun

13

2011

Parents of small children will eventually have their children invited over to birthday parties. And those parents will probably be thinking of important questions to ask before the party, such as

  • What time is the party?
  • Do I drop off my child, or am I expected to stay?
  • Who else will be there that my child knows?
  • etc.

Allow me to add one more question to that list, so that you will have a more complete checklist before accepting the invitation:

What live animals will be involved in the party?

Alpha and Beta went to a birthday party, and they won something as prizes for a little game they played.

They won two goldfish.

Each.

We went from zero to four goldfish instantly.

picture of goldfish in some glass jars

We had fish before, but not for very long. The bowl has been sitting in the basement for a while (about 3 years now), so I rinsed it out and put the new fish in it.

The older two kids are somewhat excited about the fish, at least enough so that they ask whose turn it is to feed the fish.

Beta named his two fish “Biggy” and “Mediumy”.

picture of goldfish in a bowl

The only problem is that the fish are not very hardy. It’s not really a problem to us parents because we didn’t invest much in the fish, and we don’t expect much out of them. I think the kids remember from last time that fish are quite temporary. They won’t be heartbroken either.

We started out with 4 fish.
The next day, we were down to 3 fish.
Two days later, 2 fish.
A week, 1 fish.

At this rate, we’ll be out of fish by Thursday.

Oh, and my wife informed the giver-away of the goldfish that we will be giving away kittens to her kids next time.

He turned their waters into blood
And caused their fish to die.

Psalm 105:29

Posted in Mishaps | 6 Comments »

Sandy Theme

Jun

9

2011

It’s June, the start of the summer quarter. Time for me to update the theme on this blog.

As is usual, it’s not really a new theme – all I did was replace the images and reaarrange the sidebar. It’s supposed to look like sand on the beach.

Anyway, here’s a slightly new look. Expect some tweaks in the days to come.

Judah and Israel were as numerous as the sand that is on the seashore in abundance; they were eating and drinking and rejoicing.

1 Kings 4:20

Posted in Technical | 1 Comment »

The Whole Seal

Jun

7

2011

One of the more ridiculous things in this modern age is the EULA. It is the subject of many a complaint and many a spoof, and some cartoons too.

I, on the other hand, have found a way around the EULA. This post is a photo-documentary of what happened when I got a software upgrade (identifying information has been scrubbed from the photos).

At first, I just thought it was a command to be followed:

picture of a CD with an unbroken EULA seal

Then I noticed that the sticker went around the CD case. It was no longer a command – it was a challenge. (more…)

Posted in Technical | 3 Comments »

Waiting for Acuff Man

Jun

6

2011

I don’t normally cause people to do double-takes.

But I surprised Jon Acuff in person and it was one of those moments that, if it had been in a movie, would have the needle-scratching-across-the-record sound effect.

Here’s what happened:

Chapter 1: Getting Ready

I found out about a week ago that Jon would be speaking at one of the nearby mega churches, so I sent Jon an email letting him know that I’d try to see him there. I’d have to skip my home church, since I can’t be in two places at once, but Jon rarely makes it out this way so this was my one chance to see him in person.

Lesson #1: If you have to contact Jon Acuff about something that’s time-sensitive, do not use email. He’ll get to it, eventually. If it’s urgent, use Twitter. Or text him.
(more…)

Posted in Current Events | 8 Comments »

Machu Pikachu

Jun

2

2011

These corporate sponsorships are getting out of hand.

I would have thought that Machu Picchu was safe, being on all the historical preservation lists. But apparently they are running short on money and had to resort to taking advertising. Nintendo, through their Pokemon brand, stepped up and helped fund the landmark archaeological site.

In return, the government of Peru allowed them to place one billboard next to the ruins. Unfortunately, they did not restrict the size of the billboard:

picture of a giant Pikachu at Machu Picchu

Upon a high and lofty mountain You have made your bed. You also went up there to offer sacrifice.

Isaiah 57:7

Posted in Humor | 2 Comments »

How Not to Run a Business

Jun

1

2011

If the electric company ran a tool rental center:

Guy: I’d like to rent a nail gun.
E.C.: Sure, what for?
Some projects around the house.
But what projects? I need to know specifically what it will be used for.
Why does that matter?
Our rates are different depending on what you do with it.
Umm…I’m going to be installing highly-efficient thermal windows.
Okay, you qualify for our air conditioning and ventilation rate.
Great! And I just bought a hybrid car, so I’m going to build a thing in the garage for it.
You’ll need to rent a separate nail gun for that.
What? But I’ll use the same nails. I don’t need a separate nail gun.
Corporate policy – the nail gun in the ACV plan can’t be used for an activity that qualifies under another plan.
What’s the other plan?
Our electric vehicle rate.
Oh. What’s the cheapest rate plan you have?
That would be the interruptible off-peak rate.
I’ll get that one.
Sure, but you can use the nail gun only between the hours of 8 PM and 8 AM.
Okay.
And somebody else might need to use it too, so we may borrow the nail gun from you for a little while.
Could I rent that one then?
Only for heating or cooling – your window work qualifies.
Okay, I’ll take it.
That will be $30 a day.
Fine.
Would you like to pay $3 a day extra for a nail gun made from renewable resources?

I could keep going, but I’ll end it there, somewhat ungracefully.

Stay tuned next week, when the electric company runs the gas station (“What vehicle do you have and what is your destination?”), followed by what happens when an airline sells cans of paint (“You’ll be painting today? That’s about double the normal price. But if you buy today and don’t paint until next month, it’ll be cheaper.”).

And Peter responded to her, “Tell me whether you sold the land for such and such a price?” And she said, “Yes, that was the price.”

Acts 5:8

Posted in Marketing | 1 Comment »

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