Archive for 2011

Watch Your Phraseology

Sometimes people don’t think about what they’re saying. They just repeat a phrase they’ve heard and it gets ingrained in the language.

Because I take things literally most of the time, I’ve noticed that some phrases don’t really mean at face value what they’re intended to mean. Without further ado, I present to you
Phrases that Need Correcting:

It is better to seek forgiveness than ask permission.

Wrong – it is easier to ask forgiveness afterward, but I disagree that it is better. Of course, “better” is subjective. It might be better in the eyes of the asker, not necessarily the askee. But still, it sounds like you think it might be wrong but you’re going to do it anyway.

About half the people use “better” and half use “easier”. If we could just gently steer the “better” people over to the “easier” camp, it might tip the scales to the correct side. Better yet, do the right thing and you won’t need to use this phrase to try to justify your actions.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over yet expecting a different result.

No, that is a possible example of insanity, but not the definition of insanity. There are plenty of insane people who don’t do that.

Plus, I work in the software industry. There are plenty of times where something fails only once out of dozens of times. So sometimes we repeat tests over and over, expecting a different result. And you know what? We do get a different result.

Whatever doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger

Stuff and nonsense. It is entirely possible that something will make you weaker. And it is possible that something will leave you unchanged – you are neither stronger nor killed.

The problem with this phrase is that no timeline is given. Eventually, the person will die and then the other person can see “See?” The other problem with this phrase is that it reminds me of antibiotics.

I know this saying is just intended to provide motivation. I doubt it was meant to convey truth. But the problem is that people keep repeating it. And if you repeat something often enough, people will believe it.

Say it with me: if you repeat something often enough, people will believe it.

Again.

You got it now? Okay. Good.

Umm…now where was I? Oh yes, don’t believe this phrase.

Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

Really?

Really?!?!

Have you ever actually thought about what you’re saying there?

My standard response to that is “I’ve heard it’s fun being run over by a semi truck.”

Their response: “That’s ridiculous.”

My response back: “No, you’re supposed to try it first before you say that.”

Of course you should try new things when possible. But that doesn’t mean you can’t evaluate something based on second-hand information. You can extrapolate some experiences into others. Your mind was meant to handle that task.

How’d you sleep?

My standard answer: “Like this!” (while I tilt my head to one side, close my eyes, and pretend to snore. Because that is how I slept.)

I think it should be “How well did you sleep?”

It is a trustworthy statement deserving full acceptance

1 Timothy 4:9

‘Tis a Puzzlement

Garage sale season has started. My wife found a 3-D puzzle of the Millennium Falcon at a decent price.

picture of the box for the 3-D puzzle of the Millennium Falcon

(more…)

Cherubim and Friends

This is somewhat related to last week’s comic.

comic of cherubim and seraphim using a serif font with angel wings

Transcript:
cherubim
serifim
sans-serifim

I’m pretty sure the sans-serifim were the one-third that fell with Lucifer.

Seraphim stood above Him, each having six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew.

Isaiah 6:2

Husbands and Wives: The List

A while back I overheard my wife say something to herself along the lines of “cross her off the list.” My curiosity got the better of me, so I asked what list she was talking about.

Hey, inquiring minds want to know.

It was the list of good future spouse candidates for me, should something happen to my wife and death did us part.

Those of you who know my wife are not surprised, because she likes to plan. Reference 1: her request that she be cremated and turned into a diamond.

Now for those of you who are husbands, I have some tips for you. Before you go ask your wives about the list, finish reading this post.

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT

  • inquire about the list – it is for the wife’s contemplation only. She is just making sure that her family can be taken care of in her absence.
  • ask to see the list – it is in the wife’s head only. And subject to revision.
  • ask who is on the list – no good can come from that. And there’s really no good time to ask that question.
  • make suggestions to add to the list – that’s just asking for trouble. No further explanation needed.

I was married for several years before I knew my wife kept a list. I don’t know who is on the list. I don’t know what criteria my wife is using – my guess is that it’s related to cooking skills. She probably wants our kids to eat something other than macaroni and cheese or grilled cheese sandwiches.

And no, I don’t have a similar list for my whom my wife could marry should she become a widow. I thought about thinking about it once, but I bought life insurance instead.

A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

1 Corinthians 7:39

More Sharkiness

Long-time readers of this blog may remember that Alpha’s bottom teeth did not go willingly. He had his baby teeth and adult teeth together for a while. In electrical terms, it’s similar to a make-before-break switch, as opposed to the normal break-before-make switch everyone else has.

It turned out that his top teeth have the same propensity.

picture of the top front adult teeth with baby teeth still

I hadn’t realized it before this happened, but I was looking forward to having a child with that adorable smile where the top two front teeth are missing. Sadly, I have been denied that stage.
(more…)

There’s a Font for That

Click on the image to see a full-size version. It might be easier to read that way.

comic of a pun about sans-a-riff

And here is the transcript:
A: What are you typing?
B: a paper about songs without repeated short melodic phrases
A: You can’t do that. You’re doing it all wrong!
B: What? How?
A: You’re using Times New Roman font.
B: So?
A: You need a sans-a-riff font.

Note: alert readers will notice that I presented today’s pun in the form of a comic. And the pun was about a font without serifs. Therefore …

Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a burning coal in his hand, which he had taken from the altar with tongs.

Isaiah 6:6

April in the D

picture of corn skewers for corn on the cobThe temperature last week (10 days ago) reached in the 70s, with plenty of sun. We did break out the sunscreen, for me and for the kids. I had setup the trampoline, so everyone had fun outside.

With weather like that, we figured spring was here. I bought charcoal for the grill, and we were all set for good weather until October.

It snowed yesterday. Not just some-snowflakes-came-down snow, but had-to-clear-the-car-windows type of snow. We had right around an inch of accumulation.
(more…)