Ann Voskamp’s book One Thousand Gifts is fairly popular. But it’s getting a little stale in that it came out over a year ago. It needs an update.
I took it upon myself to produce some book covers, should she ever decide to write the following books:
A book on sorting flour, entitled One Thousand Sifts
A book on older formats of clip art, entitled One Thousand Gifs
A book on peanut butter, entitled One Thousand Jifs
A book on energy bars, entitled One Thousand Clifs
I thought about her book on elevators, entitled One Thousand Lifts, but I decided to pass on the cover art for that one.
Any other titles?
Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit.
1 Corinthians 12:4
Posted in Marketing | 5 Comments »
The phrase “born this way” has the potential to be either inspirational or lazy.
If someone uses the phrase “I was born this way”, pay particular attention to what comes next. Why are they saying they were born that way?
If it’s to excuse their behavior, then it’s lazy.
If it’s to explain their accomplishments, then it’s inspirational.
How were you born?
Helpless and useless.
A burden to society.
But you know what? You don’t stay that way.
You learn, you develop, you become better.
You overcome how you were when you were born.
If you are still how you were when you were born, don’t you think it’s time to grow up?
and questioned them, saying, “Is this your son, who you say was born blind? Then how does he now see?”
John 9:19
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Now that I have accounts to make and sell T-shirts, I figured I’d create something else.
Green Programming
Make sure your functions and methods are environmentally responsible.
Go buy it at Printfection.
You go and get straw for yourselves wherever you can find it, but none of your labor will be reduced.
Exodus 5:11
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By now, you may have seen the shirt that spoofs the WWF:
Panda bears and folding chairs…
While WWF may mean World Wrestling Federation, and it may mean World Wildlife Fund, it has another meaning:
Words With Friends
So I updated the parody to use the other WWF:
The next step is to combine the three so that the one panda is going to smack the other panda with the tablet instead of a folding chair. I might not get to that right away though.
Until then, go buy the shirt at Zazzle or buy it at Printfection.
Sorry about the Zazzle link. Zazzle did not like the design because it may contain trademark violations. Either they are unfamiliar with parody as an acceptable fair use, or perhaps they want to avoid any possibility of even remotely being near a trademark violation.
All the brothers of a poor man hate him;
How much more do his friends abandon him! He pursues them with words, but they are gone.
Proverbs 19:7
Posted in Humor | 4 Comments »
Since Beta enjoyed last season’s hockey game so much, we scheduled another one for this year.
This year’s event was not as eventful as last year’s – no overtime, no shootout, no inconsiderate fans – but Beta and I enjoyed it nonetheless.
Traditions
It is our tradition that, during the first intermission, Beta gets a cup of hot chocolate.
I got some overpriced almonds. I think I’ll get something else next year.
(more…)
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Gamma pointing to a greasy frying pan: What’s that?
Me: That’s grease.
Gamma stares blankly
Me: It, uh, comes out of the meat when you cook it.
Gamma still not sure
Me: It’s like frosting for the meat!
Gamma walks away, satisfied at the answer (or at least convinced that I don’t have a good explanation)
Maybe butter would have been a better word to use.
Also the fat of an animal which dies and the fat of an animal torn by beasts may be put to any other use, but you must certainly not eat it.
Leviticus 7:24
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There are two types of people in the world: those who don’t really think about Comic Sans and those who disdain Comic Sans.
I was wondering why there are so many people against the poor font. I came up with the answer of “Sans”. Maybe the problem is that there are no serifs.
What if someone added serifs to Comic Sans?
What would it be called then? Sans means without. What is the opposite of sans? Con means with. I thought about Comic Con, but that name is already taken. Not for a font, but instantly recognizable to those who care about fonts. I guess the next best thing is the name Comic Serif.
So, here is Comic Serif. Go download it from fontgrill.com, if you want.
The nice thing about spoofing Comic Sans is that you can’t get it wrong. If you make a good font, people will be impressed. And if you do a poor job on the font, people will think you’re trying to be funny by mocking Comic Sans.
They are worthless, a work of mockery;
In the time of their punishment they will perish.
Jeremiah 10:15
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This is Alpha, the first-born, when he was 2YO.
This is Beta, the second-born, when he was about 2YO.
This is Gamma, the third-born, when he was about 18MO.
