Archive for July, 2014

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New Sink Feature

Jul

31

2014

Many people have garbage disposals in their kitchen sinks.

We are not those people.

But if we were, I would opt for this product, which I just made up:

The In-sarlacc-erator

image of a garbage disposal that resembles the Sarlacc, in a sink instad of the Great Pit of Carkoon

image of a garbage disposal that resembles the Sarlacc, in a sink instad of the Great Pit of Carkoon

image of a garbage disposal that resembles the Sarlacc, in a sink instad of the Great Pit of Carkoon

There would also need to be a line of In-sarlacc-erator-compatible sinks, the Great Sink of Carkoon.

Note: if you don’t get it, go ask a Star Wars fan.

I wonder if it’s easier to get a licensing agreement from Disney than from Lucasfilm.

Let us swallow them alive like Sheol,
Even whole, as those who go down to the pit;

Proverbs 1:12

Posted in Ideas | No Comments »

Maranatha 2014

Jul

29

2014

Another year, another trip to Maranatha. Which means another vacation recap blog post.

Don’t read that opening sentence with the wrong tone of voice – it’s a happy time, not a here-we-go-again dour attitude. The kids love going; we look forward to it each year.

Visit 2010’s recap of our trip to Maranatha for a refresher course, or to see how similar trips to Maranatha are. We want them to be similar, because kids need traditions.

Let’s see… things to recap.

  • The Beach

    The beach was good, weather cooperated for the most part.

    I got some photos of the sunset our first night there.

    image of the sunset on Lake Michigan at the beach of Maranatha Bible and Missionary Conference in Norton Shores, MI

    image of the sunset on Lake Michigan at the beach of Maranatha Bible and Missionary Conference in Norton Shores, MI

    Given the number of phones and teenagers there, I bet there were a ton more sunset photos on Instagram too. The problem with those is that the photographers kept sticking their own heads in the way.
    (more…)

Posted in Travel | 2 Comments »

Updated Miranda Rights

Jul

24

2014

The concept of Miranda rights is fine, but it needs to be expanded.

People these days have a pretty good idea of what the police and legal system are allowed to do, but it seems that enough people forget that other parts of society operate by different rules.

We need Miranda Rights for 21st-century communication. Anytime someone starts using his phone, laptop, tablet, etc., there should be a prominent warning that he must acknowledge.

Here’s a suggested update:

This call may be recorded. Anything you say can end up on the internet.

Here’s another:

These texts are being logged somewhere. Anything you write can and will be used against you in the court of public opinion.

Last one:

Don’t use Facebook. Who knows how they’ll use your information?

Of course, the rights won’t be very powerful, as there is no recourse available if they were violated. Social media is not so structured as the court system – there is no capability to strike anything from the record.

For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.

Matthew 12:37

Posted in Ideas | 1 Comment »

Cereal Misrepresentation

Jul

22

2014

I buy a variety of cereals for breakfast. Some for me, some for the kids. One of the kinds I liked for me was Special K with Fruit and Yogurt.

photo of the front of a cereal box of Special K with fruit and yogurt

Sound healthy, right?

But I’m not here to discuss the nutrition aspect of the cereal. I’m here to discuss the fruit part.

What fruit do you think is in the cereal?

close photo of the front of a cereal box of Special K with fruit and yogurt, enlarged to show detail

It says it contains fruit.
It shows strawberries, raspberries, and blackberries on the box.

One would think that the cereal contained strawberries, raspberries, and/or blackberries.

photo of the ingredients list of a cereal box of Special K with fruit and yogurt

Did you see any of those fruits listed in the ingredients?

Nope.

All it has, as far as fruit goes, is apples. And red dye to make them look like strawberries or raspberries.

Pretty sneaky…

I’d almost consider continuing to buy and eat it, because it tastes good enough. But I think I’ll stop because of the red dye. Plus there are other cereals, including Special K brand, that do contain actual berries.

No sense in rewarding the imposter with more business.

Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” And the woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Genesis 3:13

Posted in Marketing | 2 Comments »

Sprinters

Jul

17

2014

image of illustration of the phrase sprinters are just runners who can't budget

You were tired out by the length of your road, Yet you did not say, ‘It is hopeless.’ You found renewed strength, Therefore you did not faint.

Isaiah 57:10

Posted in Sports | No Comments »

Scallywag

Jul

15

2014

image of scallions plus a pollywog makes a scallywag

The magicians did the same with their secret arts, making frogs come up on the land of Egypt.

Exodus 8:7

Posted in Humor | No Comments »

Customer Service

Jul

10

2014

Our recent trip to Cedar Point was our second trip this year. The first one did not go so well. Let’s back up about 3 weeks before our successful trip…

I had planned a special father-son trip with Alpha, our oldest. He had never been to Cedar Point. I hadn’t been in over a decade. And I had never stayed at the on-site hotel. Since I was planning the trip, I decided to splurge and stay in the hotel. (Tickets are cheaper that way, and you get into the park 1 hour early. That part is key to this story).

Friday afternoon, June 6 – the big day. He gets home from school and I get home from work. We eat dinner, with the rest of the family of course, then load up the car and head out to Cedar Point. A couple hours later, we are there. We check into the hotel, walk along the shore of Lake Erie, and look into the park from the edge. We go back into the room, watch an episode of Treehouse Masters, see what we can of the Luminosity show (i.e. fireworks) from our window, and go to bed.

Everything’s going fine.

In the morning, we wake up, go downstairs for breakfast, and finish around 9:15. The park opened for early entry at 9:00, so we figure we will check out and go into the park. Back up to our room we go. One last potty break before embarking on our amusement park adventure… and the toilet doesn’t flush. And the sink doesn’t work.

I call the front desk, asking if it’s just our room. She replies that it is the whole hotel. So we check out, put our luggage in the car, and go into the park.

The water in the park isn’t working either. Toilets aren’t flushing. Drinking fountains aren’t fountaining.

But we are there, so we walk around.

I show the rides to Alpha, and he ponders them. He is interested in the water rides, but they aren’t going.

We eventually make our way to the Sky Ride. Alpha hasn’t wanted to ride anything up to that point, so I tell him that we are going to ride the Sky Ride.

So we do.

And that takes us to the front gate.
(more…)

Posted in Mishaps | 2 Comments »

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