Archive for 2016

Walk, Don’t Walk

As a driver, I appreciate the crosswalk signs that count down instead of just flashing the red hand sign. That gives me a good indication of when the light is going to turn yellow.

I know, I know, the yellow light is there to warn me that the red light is coming soon. I shouldn’t need something else to warn me that the yellow light is coming soon. But, with yellow lights not always being timed correctly (i.e. cut a little short in order to write more running-a-red-light tickets), it’s good to know when the yellow will appear.

In case you’re still trying to get up to speed here, I’m writing about he crosswalk signals that used to say Walk or Don’t Walk but now have a picture of a red hand or a picture of a white person walking.

In the old days, the Don’t Walk / red hand would start blinking to indicate you needed either to stay where you were on the curb or start hustling to make it to the other side of the road, because the traffic light was going to change soon.

Where I am, it seems about half of the signals now have countdown timers next to the red hand. Instead of the hand simply blinking at you, there are numbers that count down to 0, and when it gets to 0 then your crossing time is done and the light changes.

Except some times it doesn’t.

I haven’t logged any numbers to see the proportions, but some of the crosswalks time it so 0 means the yellow light starts and some of the crosswalks time it so 0 means the end of the yellow light.

As a driver, I would like 0 to mean the start of the yellow light. Other people may disagree. I don’t really care which it is, I would just like a standard. Kind of how the colors and placement (green at the bottom) of the lights in the traffic signal are universal.

But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good.

Romans 7:16

Botanical Gardens

My wife took the kids to a nearby botanical gardens. Nothing remarkable about the outing itself – this post is about the title “botanical gardens”.

It got me wondering what gardens people have that aren’t botanical?

  • mechanical gardens
  • entomological gardens
  • mineral gardens
  • chemical gardens

I left “vegetable gardens” and “zoological gardens” off the list because those are actual terms that I assume caused the differentiator term “botanical” to be added to the phrase. Oh, and “flower gardens”, which should just be a subset of “botanical gardens”.

Yes today’s post is slightly related to last week’s post about mechanical kids.

What other kind of gardens would you most like to see? Other than botanical or zoological.

I made gardens and parks for myself and I planted in them all kinds of fruit trees;

Ecclesiastes 2:5

Bad Elevator

Probably many people do not pay as much attention to user interfaces as I do. I wouldn’t consider myself an expert, but if I have questions when trying to use something, it makes me wonder how much thought went into the design.

Take, for instance, these elevator buttons.

confusing elevator buttons

If you are in a hurry and want the doors to close, you glance down and push the button next to the Close Doors symbol (AKA >|<).

But wait! There are two buttons next to the Close Doors symbol. Which one is the correct one?

In my case, I started at the end and noted that the button is placed to the right of the symbol, then I went over to the symbol I wanted and pushed the button to the right of it.

Not a big deal if someone pushed the wrong button for Close Doors, but what if someone pushed the wrong button for the Open Doors button? That would summon the fire department.

The button layout and/or background design should make it obvious which buttons go with which symbols.

Like this (please excuse the poor editing):

better design for elevator buttons

Or this (likewise):

better design for elevator buttons

Or a different color or border or something to separate close buttons.

If they will not believe you or heed the witness of the first sign, they may believe the witness of the last sign.

Exodus 4:8

Mechanical Kids

I overheard someone telling about his family. He said something along the lines of “I have 5 kids – 2 biological and 3 adopted.”

There must be a better way of phrasing that. For when he said “2 biological and”, my mind filled in “3 mechanical” before he could finish. Because if the adopted children are not biological, what else could they be? Maybe “spiritual” if they don’t have bodies?

I didn’t say anything to the guy, of course. If he has gone to the trouble of adopting multiple children, he needs to be encouraged.

What would be a way of saying what he wanted to convey?

  • “I have 5 kids, 3 of which are adopted.”
  • “We had 2 kids and then we adopted 3 more.”
  • “I have 5 kids, 2 _________ and 3 adopted.”

Any suggestions to fill in the blank?

“Cursed is he who distorts the justice due an alien, orphan, and widow.” And all the people shall say, “Amen.”

Deuteronomy 27:19

Please Pay Before Paying

During some recent travels, I came across this sign, posted on a gas pump:

pre pay before

Here’s a close-up of the section of interest:

pre pay before

Isn’t that the point of pre-paying – that it’s beforehand?

Recommended signage: “Please pay before pumping” or “Pre-pay only”

This post was brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department

Before he had finished speaking, behold, Rebekah who was born to Bethuel the son of Milcah, the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor, came out with her jar on her shoulder.

Genesis 24:15

Not a Loud Siren

During some recent travels, I came across this sign, posted on the door of my hotel room:

fire alarm sounds like a loud siren

Here’s a close-up of the section of interest:

fire alarm sounds like a loud siren

Some thoughts that came to mind:
“I’m glad it’s not actually a siren – it only sounds like one.”
“But if it’s not a siren, what is it?”
“What application could have the sign ‘Loud siren sounds like a fire alarm’?”
“Why not just ‘Fire alarm is a loud siren’?”

Then I heard something like the voice of a great multitude and like the sound of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, saying, “Hallelujah! For the Lord our God, the Almighty, reigns.”

Revelation 19:6

Family Conversations, Part 27

The scene: we just finished listening to a CD of Les Miserables
Delta, singing : Do you hear the people sing, singing the song that never ends…


The scene: the kids are on scooters, and we are at the top of a big hill
Me, to Gamma : What do you do if the scooter starts going too fast?
Gamma : Steer off the sidewalk into the grass.
Me : Very good. Off you go.
Me, to Delta : What do you do if the scooter starts going too fast?
Delta : Say “Wheeee!”
That right there tells you everything you need to know about those two.


Delta : What can I have to eat that’s a donut?


Me : Ah ah ah! No punching!
Delta : I wasn’t punching. I was fist bumping
slight pause
Delta : …his face

Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

Matthew 5:5